Instant Star: Helter Skelter

Patsy's totally going to die. Everyone's favorite alienating alcoholic spent the episode alternately charming and pushing away her nearest and dearest. She walks out on her record and breaks into G Major to find and destroy her contract. At Tommy's ecouragement, Jamie tries tough love and ends up being pushed into Darius' fancy glass liquor tray. Jude bandages him up and keeps him from going after Patsy.

Unfortunately Patsy, who's older brother we learn is a heroin addict and the family's "true musician," climbs drunkenly behind the wheel of her land yacht and plows into a cement divider. The scene would have had a much greater impact (no pun intended) had we not known it was going to happen from the previews and had she not been strumming her guitar. Cause, seriously? The show's portrayal of drunken antics should be quite sobering for its teenage viewers. Seeing Patsy snark and slur in the studio was a nice demonstration that being completely blitzed is neither cute nor funny.

In Shut up, Sadie-ville: Sadie wishes Kwest had punched Tommy back at the Bar Mitzvah and Kwest is gracious enough not to tell her that he didn't get hit for saying anything about her, but rather for taking a low shot about the true owner of Tommy Q's heart. Then, the second everyone's favorite Québécois smooth-talker invites her to translate Italian at a business dinner, Sadie jumps at the chance. Portia informs Kwest, who shows up at dinner with a flower and a kiss instead of fists of fury. Let's hope she's impressed.

Next week: Patsy's in surgery and grief makes Jamie cuter.