Moments in TV Awesome: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Unapologetically un-PC and always envelope-pushing, It's Always Sunny... is more hit than it is miss and whipping boy Charlie has slowly emerged as the consistently funniest member of the amoral gang. Even funnier than his illiteracy is his penchant for writing super kickass songs.

The Education of Jaime Sommers

It's confusing and hard to imagine, but last night was simultaneously the worst and best episode of Bionic Woman. Impressive?

The thing that made it excruciating was Jaime's "fake" British accent while undercover. It was spot on, which is logical since Michelle Ryan's British. But you know what calls attention to your sometimes-stilted American accent? Flawlessly throwing around phrases like "oi!" and "brilliant!" in your native lilt. It was unnecessary, overly inside-jokey and only made bearable by Jaime's banter with Herc from FNL.

And that's where the awesome comes in: Herc (no, I don't plan on learning his actual character name) is Bionic's Landry. He’s that adorable, kids. Also awesome was the introduction of a cute CIA love interest for Jaime. With the death of the boring botmaker, she’s due for a cute non-civilian to get her altered blood pumpin’.

I'm chalking up the unevenness of the episode to the showrunner changing of the guard and hoping for more palpable chemistry and less of the wink-wink shit.

Asshats, Rapists and Bitches: Canadian Style

It's that time of year again at Degrassi: talent show time. Interestingly, it's also time for Craig to be an ass (this time off-camera – impressive!), Ashley to be a bitch (must be a day ending in “y”) and Darcy to deal with something awful that has already befallen another character (she's followed Emma with internet predators, Manny with photo-happy Peter and now Paige with rape). My favorite Bible-thumper (sorry, Lyla) needs a break.

So Craig's post-rehab album has dropped and although he gave Jimmy a shout-out in the liner notes, Ashley's name was MIA. Makes sense (bitch cheated on him and dumped him via Ellie from across an ocean) except that she wrote one of the songs he recorded. Apparently copyright laws are different in Canada, cause Ashley martyrs that she can always make more music. At the Degrassi Talent Show. Sad. Jimmy tries to spice up her droning emo blahness with some freestyle rap (cause Jimmy raps now... please don't ask, cause I don't know) and Ashley gets a bug up her ass about being his sidekick.

Marco/Ellie/Paige’s new roomie conveniently wants Jimmy to perform at some open mic night thing he’s doing at a club. Ashley decides to throw her talentless self on the pyre of her dreams and let her better half perform alone. But when a record producer wants to hear more of Jimmy’s tracks with her as a producer, she decides to just send in her own stuff. Crippled, selfless boyfriend be damned. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I hate Ashley.

On to poor Darcy… She wasn’t in the episode, but I’m pretty sure her rapist was. That’s right, I’m throwing around rape accusations like this was Veronica Mars. Previously on Degrassi: Manny thought a Lakehurst kid named Sav was cute so she and Darcy went on a snowboarding trip to be near him and assorted other kids. Darcy and Peter (who she’s dating despite the whole convincing her to do softcore and then leaking the pics to everyone and their dog thing) get into a fight and she ends up downing a spiked drink and losing her virginity. Shanae Grimes, who recently took home the Gemini Award for Best Actress on a Youth Program, did a great job of slowly peeling back the layers of Darcy’s confusion and despair as she realized that she hadn’t made a drunken mistake with her boyfriend, but had been raped by a stranger.

This week on Degrassi: Sav was back as a possible love interest for TeenMom. It was a boring storyline, but it kept ol’ Sav on the radar. There’s no way we’re done with Darcy’s rape storyline and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that charming Sav has the same dark complexion as the hand that slipped Darcy the roofies. Unless they’re going to introduce a random new ethnic character, my guess is that the rapist is either Sav or Manny’s cute Damian and I’m way less attached to Sav.

Next week: Degrassi goes Night of the Living Dead!

The "Oh no he di'n't!" Award of the Week goes to...

Tim Riggins. For trying to use Jesus (the Son of man, not the linebacker whose Mom makes killer empanadas) to get into Lyla Garrity's pants. Though shameful, it was hilarious and almost as awkward as his speech at the football banquet.

Short Takes

In light of TV kind of blowing lately, the blog’s been a little quiet. So let's get the ball rolling...

After a lackluster pilot, Bionic Woman keeps getting better and better with Friday Night Lights headwriter Jason Katims at the helm. And I love Starbuck with her crazy eyes and sneer of a smile.

Speaking of FNL, I'm sticking by it, murder and all.

Private Practice has made me cry three times. Plus, it’s like 30% less whiney than Grey’s Anatomy.

Aliens in America is fearlessly honest and laugh-out-loud funny. It’s my favorite thing on the CW, though the only other thing I’m watching is Gossip Girl. Yes, I just admitted that.

My Name is Earl and 30 Rock are even better than last year. Sadly, a full hour of The Office is a bit too much (though this week was leaps and bounds beyond the last few episodes).

Dirty Sexy Money is full of glittery, broken characters that I adore after only a handful of episodes.

Degrassi feels like déjà vu, but it’s funny déjà vu with awesomely bad hair.

The best part of Reaper is the Devil. The worst part of Chuck is Morgan. Captain Awesome is a close second.

Pushing Daisies is too quirky/precious for its own good, but Ned's a dreamboat.

I really don’t believe Ted would include so many sex stories in the ongoing tale of How I Met Your Mother.

And I hope Kristen Bell's superpower is keeping me awake during Heroes.

My favorite new character...

Whether he's viciously talking shit about Nick's recently deceased father or gruffly ordering his illegitimate son to pretend he doesn't speak English, Brian Darling is a Grade-A asshole. A thin veneer of piety covers his shallow, paranoid soul and I absolutely love him.

Dirty Sexy Money is my favorite new show of the season and it's Brian and the other Darlings who make it sparkle. Nick's the heart, but they're the fun.