Asshats, Rapists and Bitches: Canadian Style

It's that time of year again at Degrassi: talent show time. Interestingly, it's also time for Craig to be an ass (this time off-camera – impressive!), Ashley to be a bitch (must be a day ending in “y”) and Darcy to deal with something awful that has already befallen another character (she's followed Emma with internet predators, Manny with photo-happy Peter and now Paige with rape). My favorite Bible-thumper (sorry, Lyla) needs a break.

So Craig's post-rehab album has dropped and although he gave Jimmy a shout-out in the liner notes, Ashley's name was MIA. Makes sense (bitch cheated on him and dumped him via Ellie from across an ocean) except that she wrote one of the songs he recorded. Apparently copyright laws are different in Canada, cause Ashley martyrs that she can always make more music. At the Degrassi Talent Show. Sad. Jimmy tries to spice up her droning emo blahness with some freestyle rap (cause Jimmy raps now... please don't ask, cause I don't know) and Ashley gets a bug up her ass about being his sidekick.

Marco/Ellie/Paige’s new roomie conveniently wants Jimmy to perform at some open mic night thing he’s doing at a club. Ashley decides to throw her talentless self on the pyre of her dreams and let her better half perform alone. But when a record producer wants to hear more of Jimmy’s tracks with her as a producer, she decides to just send in her own stuff. Crippled, selfless boyfriend be damned. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I hate Ashley.

On to poor Darcy… She wasn’t in the episode, but I’m pretty sure her rapist was. That’s right, I’m throwing around rape accusations like this was Veronica Mars. Previously on Degrassi: Manny thought a Lakehurst kid named Sav was cute so she and Darcy went on a snowboarding trip to be near him and assorted other kids. Darcy and Peter (who she’s dating despite the whole convincing her to do softcore and then leaking the pics to everyone and their dog thing) get into a fight and she ends up downing a spiked drink and losing her virginity. Shanae Grimes, who recently took home the Gemini Award for Best Actress on a Youth Program, did a great job of slowly peeling back the layers of Darcy’s confusion and despair as she realized that she hadn’t made a drunken mistake with her boyfriend, but had been raped by a stranger.

This week on Degrassi: Sav was back as a possible love interest for TeenMom. It was a boring storyline, but it kept ol’ Sav on the radar. There’s no way we’re done with Darcy’s rape storyline and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that charming Sav has the same dark complexion as the hand that slipped Darcy the roofies. Unless they’re going to introduce a random new ethnic character, my guess is that the rapist is either Sav or Manny’s cute Damian and I’m way less attached to Sav.

Next week: Degrassi goes Night of the Living Dead!