Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Why Emma's a bitch, Reasons 4,037 - 4,041

Emma and Sean are going to have sex (yeah, as Manny pointed out, we've heard that one before) so she takes into account the mistakes of her mother and best friends by getting a prescription for birth control and stocking up on prophylactics of the presumably correct size. Yay, Emma! But then Snake finds out and is understandably freaked out. He tells Spike that as one of Emma's parents, he'd like to contribute to the sex discussion and Emma glibly says that he contributes by cooking nightly dinners. Like a servant. Instead of acknowledging his feelings and explaining that she's protecting herself and capable of making her own decision, Emma plays the "You're just my STEP dad" card. Excuse me, bitch, would you rather have the sex talk with your REAL dad? The one who tried to KILL your mother while she was in labor? The one who's literally kind of retarded? I didn't think so.

So after being a complete cooze, Emma approaches Snake at school and accuses him of being unable to handle that she's "a sexual being." Ick. Meanwhile, he's like, "Can we talk about this later, I'm trying to fix a computer and I'm at work." To further awkward up the situation, Emma turns her power point assignment into a lecture on how men stifle women's sexuality. There's some blathering about double standards and she has somehow talked stupid, stupid Sean into posing shirtless for this project. I'm guessing he's also the one who bound her with duct tape, a symbolic move that will be forever be seared into the brain of her hapless father figure. And after all this horrible behavior, Snake tells her that she's right and apologizes for taking her growing up so hard. Argh! Does it mean I'm too old to watch Degrassi if I'm like "I'd ground that bitch for a month"?

Speaking of bitches, Paige has three: Spinner, Ellie's recent ex Jesse and Miss Alex, who against all odds, still loves herself some Michalchuk.

No comments: