Pontius Pilot: The Vampire Diaries

THE GOOD: With Dawson's Creek and Hidden Palms (forgot about that one, didn't you?), Kevin Williamson made the mistake of giving us just a handful of central characters. That makes for very tight, very frustrating little love triangles. With The Vampire Diaries, we've got a plethora of characters: Elena, her two friends (witchy Bonnie and needy...blonde girl), her two vampire love interests (broody Stefan and delightfully evil Damon), her self-medicating brother (and his former hook-up), her ex-boyfriend (Hey, don't I know you from Friday Night Lights?) and his kinda date-rapey best friend. Plus two adults that no one really cares about.

There's already a lot of interpersonal drama and that's BEFORE Damon showed up to start killing off locals (Jesse from Degrassi, we'll miss you) and torture his brother. Speaking of Degrassi (and you know I love to), TeenMom is actually good as Elena. She could easily be a mopey and pensive (and she is a little, I mean, her parents did just die), but TeenMom finds a way to elevate her, making her likable and tough. She won't crumble when her world is ripped wide open (and if Damon's half the vampire I think he is, he will rip that shit WIDE open), she'll rip a bottle out of her brother's hand, cracks it on a table and fight the hell back.

THE BAD: Stefan looks really old. I get that he's been hanging out since the mid 19th century, but really? When Elena ran into him outside the men's bathroom, I half expected her to be like "Oh I think you're looking for the teacher's lounge." I (kind of) get why the Cullens in Twilight hide out in high school; they were all under 20 when they died. But Stefan seems like he was older, right? Or maybe he just looks like it.

Also potentially lame is the whole Civil War thing they're doing. Apparently in the books, the brothers became vamps in Renaissance Italy. The TV adaptation has them being changed in Elena's hometown, Mystic Falls, during the Civil War. You know, the war that pitted brother against brother? Symbolism! This could go a couple of different ways, it could be kind of interesting and murky or it could be totally black-and-white and lame all over.

THE VERDICT: DVR Season Pass. Only to be watched while on the elliptical. Or eating a tub of ice cream.