Pilot Round Up: Part Uno

PUSHING DAISIES: Lee Pace? Bryan Fuller? Even before I read the script, I was inclined to like ABC's new "forensic fairytale." And I did. Now that I've seen the pilot (or pie-lette as it's so cutely labeled), I'm in love. It's the magic of Wonderfalls with healthy doses of Dead Like Me’s matter-of-fact, goofy darkness and Big Fish’s expansive visuals. I'm anxious to see where the story goes and also about how it will be received by a mass audience. Maybe its uniqueness will strike a chord. Maybe it'll be largely ignored like Fuller and Pace's other little masterpiece.

THE IT CROWD: Another one I wanted to like. It's not being picked up and it's just as well. I'm not sure why anyone was paid to write an almost exact replication of the UK version – save an Americanization or two and one dumbed down explanation of an originally absurdist joke. Oy. Instead of dwelling on miscasting and awkward execution, I'll just look forward to the UK's Season 2.

MISS/GUIDED: When I heard that Rob Thomas was going to be the showrunner of this one, I was so excited. Then he left amid "creative differences" and I was disappointed (don't you love this insight into my inner pysche?). I'm no longer disappointed. Judy Greer is a fantastic actress and very easy to root for. Sometimes I even felt myself rooting for her in 13 Going on 30 (and she's a villainous bitch in that). And yet, that fairly two-dimensional villain is way more interesting than her awkward guidance counselor in Miss/Guided. I don't even remember her name. And Brooke Burns (or Burke... the one who used to be blonde and broke her neck at some point) is completely flat as a generically bitchy former homecoming queen. I saw the twists coming from miles away and even then, they had me yawning.

SAM I AM: Speaking of 13 Going on 30, Christina Applegate's new show is a lot like a more grounded version of that film. And I mean that in a good way. This was a pilot that I wasn't apt to like. One of the co-creators, Cecelia Ahren, is a young, gorgeous writer whose first book I disliked so much I not only didn't finish it, I took it to the bookstore and demanded my money back. It's now been made into a film with Gerard Butler (mmm Attila...) so apparently not everyone had the same reaction. Anyway, I approached this pilot with the expectation that Ahren would once again disappoint. And she did. In that she didn't. Confused? Me too. Basically, I loved the pilot. Applegate has done no wrong since Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead and the supporting cast is stellar. Barry Watson is appealing as the mysteriously nice (ex)boyfriend and I'm already in love with Melissa McCarthy's cheerfully pathetic wannabe sidekick.

Opening Credits Bonanza: My Childhood

No matter where I was in the house, the first chords of these themes would send me running for the den.

Greek: Separation Anxiety

Last night, my bff/college roomie/hetero-lifemate Mac called and said "Do you remember how we used to IM each other from across the room? They're totally doing it on Greek." This is a variation on a conversation we frequently have about the show. “Remember when drinking before noon (on a week day) was socially acceptable?” “Remember theme parties?” “Remember when our friends took pharmaceutical psychostimulants to study for tests and didn't OD'd or get caught in order to teach us a lesson about life?” You get the idea: We miss college.

And this show, like college, is all about grey area. As much as I love me some teen melodrama, it's nice to see a show that presents the collegiate experience the way I remember it. And since I went to a very preppy Southern school, yes, many of my peers were that attractive and stylish.

The recent storyline about Ashleigh and Casey's faltering friendship really took me back. There were times in college when I found myself wanting to shepherd a friend away from a less-than-worthy suitor. And like Casey, I learned that imposing ones idea of perfection on ones friends rarely leads to a “Thanks You,” but more often to a forced look at ones own screwed up love life. What Case hasn't learned yet is that obnoxious college boyfriends often turn into husbands and people are more likely to side with a spouse than a bossy friend. Also, if you've protested too much, you end up seeming like a total cooze at the wedding.

Disclaimer: Mac did not marry a Travis. She married a Rusty in Evan's clothing. I think that comparison just got weird. I apologize.

Why Lifetime RULES

Miss Instant Star herself Alexz Johnson, Magda Apanowicz (Kyle XY's cancer-stricken Andy) and Degrassi's Emma and Alex (Miriam McDonald and Deanna Casaluce) will star in the Lifetime original movie Devil's Diary. Mark your calendars: September 22.

Kick Ass Casting News

Is it my birthday? Seriously. It MUST be. First I hear that yes, One Tree Hill will time warp into the future next season (awesome!). Also! Chad will now be a successful novelist facing a mean case of writers block (kind of a rip-off of former OTH hunk Bryan Greenberg on October Road, but I’m nothing if not forgiving). And then this news:
From People Magazine Online:
"Kevin Federline has landed a guest-starring role on the CW's One Tree Hill. In the multi-episode arc, the would-be rapper plays Jason, 'a cocky, enigmatic frontman' for No Means Yes, a legendary rock band in the show's fictional setting of Tree Hill, N.C, according to the network."

Somebody pinch me! This is so freaking rad! KFed and CMM could have a squint off to end all squint offs. The FORMER Subletter (he's asked to be referred to as such from now on) fears that the presence of these two behemoths of douche will be too much for one screen to hold. It’ll be like the end of Raider of the Lost Ark, all melting faces and soul sucking terror. I say it's as good a way to go as any.

Guess who's joining Heroes?!

From Variety:

"Peacock has snagged (Kristen) Bell for a key multiepisode arc of its sophomore sensation. Casting is a major coup for NBC since Bell -- who plays the title character in Judd Apatow’s upcoming 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' -- was reportedly being sought for several TV gigs, including a part on ABC’s 'Lost.'

Bell will make her first “Heroes” appearance in October. She’ll play Elle, a character described as a sexy, mysterious young lady who has ties to the supposed death of Peter, H.R.G.’s past and the future of Claire. Elle will kick off her arc by committing a serious crime, though it’s unclear whether she’s good or bad."

In related news: Guess who will now be watching Heroes?

Watch This NOW: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is the creation of The UK Office's annoying IT guy Matthew Holness and The IT Crowd's socially retarded IT guy Richard Ayoade. It aired in the UK's Channel 4 in 2004 and thanks to the magic of the internet, it can be viewed on youtube. Hilarious is an understatement. Also check out their related 2006 series Man to Man with Dean Learner.

This is the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," and it perfectly captures the gleeful misogyny of the characters. As a silly woman, it's the kind of straight talk I can appreciate.

Lonelygirl15 goes legit

Just like the Blair Witch before her, I knew Lonelygirl15's Bree was fake before I watched a second of footage. After reading the LA Times article, I watched a handful of episodes, was impressed with the new model for entertainment and then basically forgot about her. Then I heard Jessica Rose, the actress who played Bree, was in I Know Who Killed Me and I thought, "Good for her." Then I thought, "Wait. Now she's been exposed to Lohan. Maybe not so good."

Well Rose survived that experience and now she's got the recurring role of Zeta Beta pledge (and Rusty love interest!) Jen K. on Greek. Her fizzy energy is perfect for a character who's chatty awkwardness successfully plays down her beauty. And all that time confessionalizing to a web cam seems to have given her an appealingly unselfconscious style of delivery.

Opening Credits Bonanza: How I Met Your Mother

See? The opener doesn't have to be long in order to completely capture the tone of the show.

Don't You (Forget About Me)

One of my favorite types of TV episodes (coming in just after wacky Halloween specials) is the homage. They can be as blatant as Felicity’s Twilight Zone ep or as subtle as Battlestar’s nod to The Hunt for Red October. My personal favorite is also one of the most obvious: The Breakfast Club. Below are three translations of John Hughes’ classic tale of bonding during Saturday School.

Degrassi: The Next Generation “Take On Me” (2004): This is the most literal of the homages. Ellie is the Basketcase, Hazel is the Princess, Jimmy is the Jock, Sean is the Criminal and Toby is the Brain. Radditch dresses like Principal Vernon and works out quite disturbingly on a Swedish exercise ball while the kids take over the school. Rather than bridging cliques, Jimmy and Hazel hook up while Ellie and Sean bond over mutually freaking other people out, cementing their differences as couples. And all Toby gets is a pity kiss on a dare from Hazel. But that’s more than he usually gets. Especially since it's the episode directly following Manny and the Abortion (AKA "Accidents Will Happen"), this is not at the top of Degrassi's "go there" game.

Dawson’s Creek “Detention” (1998): The gang all get detention (for reasons ranging from assault to masturbation on school grounds) along with bad grrrl Abby (who claims to have participated in a gangbang prior to landing in Saturday School). Abby takes on the Judd Nelson role, instigating a game of Truth or Dare and happily prodding the tender participants of the Jen/Dawson/Joey triangle as she forces Dawson and Joey to share their first kiss under the guise of a dare.

Written by the wonderful Mike White, my favorite moment of this episode is when they chattily discuss TBC (as those Creekers were wont to do) and get to the “But where are the actors now?” topic. Pacey chimes in that Emilio Estevez “made those Duck movies. Those were classic!” Totally.

ER “Secrets and Lies” (2002): Not the first series one would think of when paying homage to TBC, this one is actually my favorite. After a dominatrix brings a client into the ER, Abby, Carter, Luka, Susan and Gallant get busted by Weaver for checking out the contents of her bag. When Weaver finds a dildo in her locker, the gang gets sentenced to a sexual harassment sensitivity seminar.

The instructor for the seminar runs several hours late and as a result, the characters get to know one another better. Abby and Susan bond, straight-laced Gallant reveals himself to be from an almost entirely military family and we learn that while Carter was deflowered by the help at an early age, Luka waited until his wedding night with his late wife. Instead of romantic relationships being built, we see them crumbling. Carter, taking on the antagonistic Judd Nelson role, goads Luke into a “friendly” duel and eventually reveals that he once had Weaver’s locker. By the end of the episode, Susan breaks it off with Carter and tells him that he should tell Abby he’s madly in love with her.

And now I leave you with the trailer for the original. Man, Saturday School was never this lifechanging at my school.

Alex goes there. Emma doesn't.

For someone who began as barely a character, just some girl to hang on Jay’s arm and throw dirty looks at Emma, Alex Nunez has come a long way. She left the baggy pants and wife beaters with the self-hating homophobia and as a proud lesbian, has embraced her unique hotness. Seriously, since when is Alex so smokin’?

In the two-part Season Six finale we focus on Alex (and to the Subletter’s dismay, on-again girlfriend Paige). Her mother’s occasionally abusive and always monosyllabic live-in Chad gets sent to the clink for identity theft. Among those he defrauded? BadMom. Now she and Alex are drowning in credit card debt and on the verge of being evicted. After getting a job as a server at a strip club (much to Paige’s disgust), Alex’s need for big money wins out and she takes to the stage. The most searing moment comes when Alex, having had enough of being treated like a whore by the patrons, quits and is accosted by BadMom, who will never understand what her daughter did to help the family. As BadMom calls Alex selfish for giving up a lucrative job, Chad walks in and we see that all Alex’s hard-earned money was used to bail the asshole out of jail. In that instant, Alex breaks free of her albatross of a mother and walks out of the needy bitch’s life. Of course, she walks straight into the needy arms of Paige, but what can you do?

In the land of people we no longer care about, Emma’s pissed that Sean wants to join the Canadian Army so suddenly she’s pregnant. She doesn’t trust the 99% accuracy of pregnancy tests and insists that it’s probably a false negative. Moron/bitch. She tries to use the non-baby as leverage to make Sean stay under her thumb, but he seems to think that having a child is an even more powerful reason to learn a trade and make money for a young family. Emma hates logic and informs her mom and Manny that she’s pregnant. As two people who have dealt with such a mistake, they make Emma take a pregnancy test, but before she can pee on the strip, she gets her period. Yay? She acts happy and like she wasn’t making the whole thing up, which is weird cause Miriam McDonald was totally playing it like “crazy girl lies about pregnancy scare” until that moment. Afterward, I think she and Sean broke up on good terms, it was kind of boring and I was busy enjoying the fact that Toby won Ice King and that the winter dance was filled with people (Ashley, Jimmy, the AfroTwins) who we hadn’t seen in a long, long time.

Next season: We’ll pick up in the middle of the school year and it looks like TeenMom will be back (boo!) along with other assorted Lakehurst toughs who will now attend Degrassi (yay!).

Opening Credits Bonanza: Buffy

A good opening credit sequence is like sorbet. It cleanses the viewer's palate and primes their appetite for the main course. Following the lead of Lost, more shows are forgoing the sorbet and just diving into the prime rib (or greasy burger). In the inaugural post of Opening Credits Bonanza, I’d like to celebrate Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The hard-driving score by Nerf Herder combined with rat-a-tat editing perfectly reflects the tongue-and-cheek thrill ride that is guaranteed to follow.

In the Season 4 episode "Superstar," recurring character Jonathan uses dark magic to insert himself into the lives of the Scoobies. In a stroke of surreal brilliance, the show incorporated this development into the episode's opening.

And in the realm of fanmade vids, the Buffy theme served as inspiration for an alternate opening sequence for fellow teen girl superstud Veronica Mars.

What ever happened to Nerf Herder?

Overthinking TV

So I was watching Greek the other day, enjoying a fun episode about date parties and sex, and I noticed nods to both Grey’s Anatomy and Ugly Betty. Not surprising since they’re both on ABC, Greek’s parent channel. What struck me as strange was that Grey’s Anatomy was referenced as a show that the characters watch, while Mode, Ugly Betty’s employer, was referenced as a magazine that everyone reads. Following that logic, Ugly Betty and Greek exist in the same universe. Spencer could be Betty’s summer intern. Zaniness could ensue.

Over on The N, things get even stickier. Aubrey Graham and Stacey Farber of Degrassi appeared as themselves on an episode of Instant Star. So in the universe of Instant Star, Degrassi is a popular Canadian show. But on a recent episode of Degrassi, the characters were singing a Jude Harrison song at Karaoke. So in the universe of Degrassi, Jude’s a rockstar. Logically those scenarios should negate one another and the Epitome Pictures back lot should implode, leaving a blackhole in the middle of Toronto. Though logically, I shouldn’t think this deeply about a show that isn't Lost.

A Reservoir of Steel

I’ve read complaints that Rose Byrne isn’t tough enough to hold her own opposite Glenn Close on FX’s addictive new drama Damages. After the first two episodes, I beg to differ. I can’t wait to watch her transform from the fresh-faced, easily-manipulated associate of the flashbacks to the present-day woman sitting in a police interrogation room, wearing a dead-eyed glare and her fiancé’s blood.

I have a feeling that during that journey, Byrne will allow Ellen to gain her own footing, if only to lose it horrifically in the end. Speaking of horrific, remind me never to let Glenn Close pet-sit.