Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska

So I loved this amazing show when Fox originally aired it. Any show that purports to be empowering to women while making them compete for men's affection in order to increase their dowries, is my idea of entertainment. I also loved that the women weren't cookie cutter actress/models trying to win over Andrew Firestone, but moderately attractive women just desperate enough to come to Alaska in the hopes of loggers, snowboarders and other dudes with really questionable job descriptions (side note: Does anyone remember the Cheaters that featured a cuckolded "stockbroker" who was clearly a crystal meth dealer? That guy was awesome).

This weekend was at least the third time I've caught bits of Bachelorettes in Alaska marathons on Fox's all reality network. Luckily I didn't stumble upon it earlier or I'd have spent the whole day on the couch. I turned it on just in time for the horrific final scenes in which the women trek across the frozen tundra in ridiculous wedding dresses (complete with capes and white fur muffs) to wait for a float plane to land. Each woman's Man on Ice will either emerge from the aircraft to invite her to live in Alaska as the wife of a man who can skip a month of work to be on a reality show or...the plane will be empty and they'll go home losers.

The best part of the marathon is that the producers and some of the participants are on hand to tell us what went down afterwards. Like the redhead chick moved to Alaska to be with Kristian, but it didn't work out and she moved back. And the bitchy one who clearly lied about her age was also a bitch in real life, going so far as to dump red wine on one of the other girls when she got too much attention at an off-camera dinner. Awesome! Also, even though Bastard Tim #1 showed up in the plane to ask for another chance with Cecile (after unceremoniously dumping her several episodes before, leaving her with Crazy Tim #2), they're relationship didn't last. Sadly, Brent and Cissie, who seemed to be made for one another in a creepy Ken and Barbie kind of way, didn't last either. Turns out the producers pushed him hard to make the proposal (which you could kind of guess by the chagrined look on his face when it came time to make it) and after Cissie moved to Alaska, it ended. She spent all her time taking care of his kids while he was out with his ex-wife. Ain't that some shit? Fox Reality has made me feel bad for Cissie, four years after Brent broke her heart...