The O(h Lord will someone not shoot the flailing thing in the head and put it out of its misery once and for all?) C

It’s not terribly novel for me to state that after a nearly pitch-perfect first season and an occasionally stumbling second (the gardener, the self-referencing comic book, Marissa, sigh), this show has gone quickly into the crapper.

I declared it dead after the evil dean and the obnoxious Taylor Townsend decided to make it their personal mission to punish Marissa for saving her boyfriend’s life by shooting her attempted rapist. Every once in a while I would flip the channel back to the FOX to find that yes, Seth was still rapidly on his way to being a total asshole and no, they had yet to explain what the hell happened to Zach.

With Marissa safely dead and buried and Ryan apparently cage fighting in order to get the sad beaten out of him, I decided to give the show another chance. Let’s be honest, I didn’t really expect it to recapture my loyalty. In addition to a stupid montage ripped out of some Canadian movie of the week, I was subjected to the formerly adorable Chris Pratt of Everwood as a walking college stereotype and a painfully stupid presentation of the Chino Kid’s origin story. The last somehow convinced Ryan to move back into the pool house (good life choice) and take Julie up on her mission to avenge Marissa’s death (bad life choice, but excellent use of cage fighting skills).

In my-heart-is-not-frozen news, I was touched that Summer’s only being a politically obnoxious, Che t-shirt wearing poser because she can’t be her old self without being reminded of her beloved Coop’s death and it still annoys the holy hell out of me when Seth refers to Kirsten and Sandy as MY parents instead of OUR parents when talking to Ryan. Screw the pool house. Someone give that kid a room in the main house and a daily hug.