Canadian imports straight from The N

So after months of not writing about things like Marco almost becoming a hooker (almost), Bones being my new favorite show ever (thanks, Hulu), Cally shuffling off Battlestar's mortal coil (yay!) and David Cook maybe being my new rocker boyfriend (shut up), I can no longer be silent. Sound dramatic? Yeah, that's what the Chef thought when I breathlessly told her about Degrassi's Darcy landing on the new 90210 (originally written by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas!). She was like "You realize you're not actually friends with Darcy, right?" Like I would be friends with Darcy after she accused Snake of bad touching. Oh who am I kidding? If Paige can forgive new roomie for not disclosing his HIV status before knocking boots, I can forgive ol' Darce.

But Darcy's new zipcode isn't the end of the good news. If you haven't been living under a rock, then you know Lucille Bluth is playing the faded star alcoholic grandma, but you may not realize that Tristan Wilds AKA Michael from The Wire is playing Darcy's brother. Did you ever think Degrassi and The Wire would collide anywhere except my brain? Me neither!

Speaking of unexpected things, remember The Best Years? No? Consider yourself lucky. My memory is not as spotlessly forgiving. So, it looks like Devon (Brandon Jay McLaren) will be skipping anger management in order to appear on CBS's mysterious Harper's Island. I don't know if he's a series regular, but it looks like a show with a body count and I wouldn't mind watching Devon get snuffed.

Also from The Best Years is Ashley Newbrough (ooky Sloane) on How to Survive the Filthy Rich. That's her in the yellow. I found her fairly underwhelming on her old show so I'll be interested to see if she can hold her own opposite Bionic Woman's spunky little sis Lucy Hale (also pictured). And since it's a new CW show, she'll also get to share the screen with Cliff/Zach/Grant from Hidden Palms/The OC/Smallville. Warner Brothers really is just dying to make Michael Cassidy a star (in someone's eyes other than the Former Subletter).

Why do I watch crap?

It takes a lot for me to completely give up on a TV show. And even once I declare it dead and buried, it doesn't take much more than a little stunt casting or the promise of a particularly loathed character's death (see: Hill, One Tree) to resurrect my interest. I can justify certain shows because I've been watching them for years. Degrassi's a perfect example. It was never a conventional masterpiece (though it has more than earned its place in the pantheon of pop culture) so when I start having to slog through episodes of Emma and Sean blah blah blahing when I'd rather focus on something that doesn't make me wish Spike had just gone for the abortion, I can hang tough. I know that before long Manny or Craig will show up and do something explosively stupid/entertaining and all will be right with the world.

What's mysterious (even to me) is my stubborn ability to hang on to subpar shows from the get-go. What goes on with October Road? What goes on is that people have stupid syntax that makes me want to shake the writers by the lapels and beg them to give just one of the characters a voice that's not so reminiscent of the know-it-all douche I dated freshman year. Jeez! So why do I keep watching? I don't know! To be fair, I usually watch it on the computer while doing other things, but I still freaking tune in, eager to see what new complication will befall Nick and his gang of quasi-intellectual townies.

So if October Road and Kaya (which has crashed and burned in an inferno of missed dramatic opportunities and mediocrity) are still on my viewing schedule, what is it that makes me abandon shows like Gilmore Girls and The OC? Maybe it's the fact that watching a once great show's paler imitation of itself is infinitely more frustrating than laughing at the missteps and savoring the occasional victories of shows that have never shown as perfectly. It's all about expectations. And with the return of One Tree Hill nigh, I'm giddy with the prospect of our characters four years in the future (looks like Nathan's a drunk with long hair!). My expectations have never been lower.

Kick Ass Casting News: Smallville

Need two reasons to watch Smallville next year? Michael Cassidy (Hidden Palms's Cliff, The OC's Zach) is all but confirmed as a new Lois love interest and Laura Vandervoort (Instant Star's Sadie) will be Supergirl. So yes, I'll be swallowing the bile that rises every time I look at Lana and tuning in. The addition of Canadian Vandervoort is especially fun since one of my favorite TV games is Spot the Working Canuck Actor. Vancouver-based shows like Kyle XY, Battlestar, Eureka and Men in Trees are positively chock full of Canadians you never knew you always loved.

In sad casting news (not Fillion on DH sad, but close), Sam Huntington is going to be on ABC's Geico Cavemen sitcom. Maybe it'll be a savvy parody of modern racism. Maybe Huntington will bring the same wide-eyed humor he rocked in Not Another Teen Movie and Veronica Mars. Or maybe he'll be buried under mounds of prosthetic makeup and bad jokes. No matter what, I'll now have to give it a courtesy look. Damn my loyalty.

Moments in TV Awesome: The OC and SNL

I watched a tape of this season's finale over and over again, such was my love for this plot point. It had the potential to be a really cool turn for Marissa as a character and for her relationship with Ryan. Sure, she was trying to save him, but she SHOT his brother. That's rad. In the end, the show decided to forgoe any character development and went with a mind-numbingly stupid series of events in which everyone hated Marissa for saving Ryan and the police were sure Ryan was behind the shooting, despite overwhelming crime scene evidence to the contrary. Also, Trey living was LAME. So maybe this was the beginning of the end, but it was still all kinds of kick ass.


Also kickass was SNL's belated, but hilarious parody. And Samberg even kinda looks like Trey.

Don't break out the Post-Its just yet...

According to creators.com (I have no idea what it is either, but I was looking for news on Kirsten Cohen's engagement to some crazy rich Canadian and that's where I landed), MGM will soon (like in a week soon) begin production on the direct to DVD Dead Like Me movie that it announced in April. I can't find any other source that confirms (or even mentions) this news, but I'm excited.

Allegedly, Ellen Muth will reprise her role along with Callum Blue, Jasmine Guy, Cynthia Stevenson and Britt McKillip. No mention of Laura Harris, but Mandy Patinkin will be a no show as the storyline launches with Rube's replacement as the leader of the reapers.

So three cheers for Dead Like Me for rising from the ashes (and throw in one for Kelly Rowan for making kickass Lifetime movies and landing a freaking billionaire). Yay!

Re: That crappy plot point you ganked

Dear Scrubs,

So I couldn't help notice the whole fake miscarriage thing you did last night with JD and that hot surgeon. It happened just after all that super zany stuff with the RV and that super touching stuff with the fetus clutching Turk's finger, which BTDub, was pretty messed up.

Anywho, the thing is, I did that in Season Two during one of Ryan and Marissa's 84 breakups. Ryan left da OC to be noble and care for Theresa and an unborn baby of questionable paternity. Then it turned out that being noble is totally contagious and Theresa pretended the baby died, but it didn't. So Ryan went back to Newport and Marissa's clavicle and he never knew that a baby that he may or may not have fathered was still totally among the living. It was hella compelling.

Who am I trying to kid? It was dumb then and it's dumb now. Don't you see how melodramatic and ridiculous it is, Scrubs? Look at what that kind of thing did to me? It signaled the beginning of the end. I started trying to wring drama out of Marissa's hissy fits near the pool and self-referential graphic novels. It was bad.

Here's my advice: Check the freshness date on your storylines, cause this one is passed due. We're talkin' chunky milk over here.

Peace Out!

The OC

PS. I stole it from Fools Rush in with Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. That's how not-so-fresh it is.

Bad News, Remaining OC Fan

It would appear that The OC will say goodbye at the end of February. There's still a modicum of hope that the CW, the fledgling network that recently gave a pilot order to Josh Schwartz's Gossip Girls (based on a popular series of YA novels), will welcome The OC when Fox officially lowers the ax. Shows have jumped networks after being dumped before (The Jeff Foxworthy Show, Roswell, Grounded For Life) but will it really be the same?

TV is a collaborative art (yeah, I called it art, what of it?) but shows tend to fare better with their creator around (Buffy comes to mind). JJ Abrams once said that there were times during the days when Alias blew super hard (he didn't phrase it that way, but whatev) when he would turn on the show and not know what the hell was going on. Not a good sign.

The OC began it's slow spiral of suckdom when Schwartz became busy with other projects. And in addition to Gossip Girls (which Little Lady pointed out sounds just like the Kaitlin spin-off that was rumored during The OC's better days), Schwartz got a pilot order from NBC for Chuck, an original dramedy that I've heard described as Seth Cohen does Alias. So maybe it's time to move on. Saying good bye is painful, but close your eyes and think about how good it will feel to say hello to a show that hasn't already been sullied by Marissa Cooper.

The O(kay when I said it was dead to me, I was full of crap and we all knew it) C

All it took was one night of reruns and pre-holiday boredom to send me back into the arms of The OC. I'd heard from friends that it had vastly improved after the unfortunate season premiere and that Ryan and Taylor Townsend were actually cute together. So I decided to see for myself.

Turns out, my sources were right. Perkily Type-A Taylor is perfect for mopey Ryan. Their banter was infused with the same spark that made him and Seth such a great opposites attract match as brothers. And never fear: we've still got a screwed-up tragic beauty in Marissa's little sister Kaitlin. But instead of the writers trying to give her salvation through an equally troubled love interest, they recognize that what Kaitlin really needs is a good parent. Her scenes with Julie's new boyfriend Bullet were my favorites, mostly because they're obviously fond of one another without a hint of the sexual tension that tends to creep into adult/teen relationships on this type of show.

In the A-plot, which revolved around Summer's possible pregnancy, I didn't always buy the characters' motivations (Summer stealing the SUV because Seth's insensitive? Meh.), but it was a fun story. Originally the show's greatest strength was that it was a screwball comedy masquerading as a teen soap. This episode made me remember that. Too bad it's opposite 30 Rock, but then again, maybe it's time to upgrade my tivo.

Dear Eric Mabius...

I used to really dislike you. I first remember seeing you play a closeted high school football player in Cruel Intentions. Yawn. Plus, you were like 28 and that struck me as a little pathetic. And then I guess you were in some other things like The L Word and some horror movies or something. You kind of fell off my radar until you played an ass on Eyes, but the show didn’t really capture my attention, so whatever. But then there was The OC. I was pretty ambivalent about you until you started playing Harbor's Evil East Coast Dean of Discipline. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

I mean, by all righs we should have been cool with one another, "the enemy of my enemy" and all that. But while I wanted Marissa to be a fully formed character, you wanted her to be punished for stopping the violent, drug-addled ex-con who tried to RAPE her from murdering her boyfriend. My rage at this ridiculous plot point was blinding and now I see that it was misplaced. I should have been directing a little more of it towards the people who created the stupid and completely unrealistic (no, not in a good way) character.

I say all this because in your current role as Mode Magazine Editor-in-Chief Daniel Meade on Ugly Betty you are not only charming and handsome, but also endearing and sympathetic. I take back all of the eye rolling and TV yelling that was directed at you in the past. You, sir, have chipped away at some unknown part of my being that has a soft spot for Poor Little Rich Playboys. Well played, Eric Mabius, well played.

xoxo
SC

The O(h Lord will someone not shoot the flailing thing in the head and put it out of its misery once and for all?) C

It’s not terribly novel for me to state that after a nearly pitch-perfect first season and an occasionally stumbling second (the gardener, the self-referencing comic book, Marissa, sigh), this show has gone quickly into the crapper.

I declared it dead after the evil dean and the obnoxious Taylor Townsend decided to make it their personal mission to punish Marissa for saving her boyfriend’s life by shooting her attempted rapist. Every once in a while I would flip the channel back to the FOX to find that yes, Seth was still rapidly on his way to being a total asshole and no, they had yet to explain what the hell happened to Zach.

With Marissa safely dead and buried and Ryan apparently cage fighting in order to get the sad beaten out of him, I decided to give the show another chance. Let’s be honest, I didn’t really expect it to recapture my loyalty. In addition to a stupid montage ripped out of some Canadian movie of the week, I was subjected to the formerly adorable Chris Pratt of Everwood as a walking college stereotype and a painfully stupid presentation of the Chino Kid’s origin story. The last somehow convinced Ryan to move back into the pool house (good life choice) and take Julie up on her mission to avenge Marissa’s death (bad life choice, but excellent use of cage fighting skills).

In my-heart-is-not-frozen news, I was touched that Summer’s only being a politically obnoxious, Che t-shirt wearing poser because she can’t be her old self without being reminded of her beloved Coop’s death and it still annoys the holy hell out of me when Seth refers to Kirsten and Sandy as MY parents instead of OUR parents when talking to Ryan. Screw the pool house. Someone give that kid a room in the main house and a daily hug.

Shows that are dead to me: An Update

Shows that are still dead to me: The OC. Even cage fighting can't save you now, Schwartz.

Shows that are no longer dead to me: ER. Stamos being all kinds of steamy? Well played, NBC. Well played.