Canadian imports straight from The N

So after months of not writing about things like Marco almost becoming a hooker (almost), Bones being my new favorite show ever (thanks, Hulu), Cally shuffling off Battlestar's mortal coil (yay!) and David Cook maybe being my new rocker boyfriend (shut up), I can no longer be silent. Sound dramatic? Yeah, that's what the Chef thought when I breathlessly told her about Degrassi's Darcy landing on the new 90210 (originally written by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas!). She was like "You realize you're not actually friends with Darcy, right?" Like I would be friends with Darcy after she accused Snake of bad touching. Oh who am I kidding? If Paige can forgive new roomie for not disclosing his HIV status before knocking boots, I can forgive ol' Darce.

But Darcy's new zipcode isn't the end of the good news. If you haven't been living under a rock, then you know Lucille Bluth is playing the faded star alcoholic grandma, but you may not realize that Tristan Wilds AKA Michael from The Wire is playing Darcy's brother. Did you ever think Degrassi and The Wire would collide anywhere except my brain? Me neither!

Speaking of unexpected things, remember The Best Years? No? Consider yourself lucky. My memory is not as spotlessly forgiving. So, it looks like Devon (Brandon Jay McLaren) will be skipping anger management in order to appear on CBS's mysterious Harper's Island. I don't know if he's a series regular, but it looks like a show with a body count and I wouldn't mind watching Devon get snuffed.

Also from The Best Years is Ashley Newbrough (ooky Sloane) on How to Survive the Filthy Rich. That's her in the yellow. I found her fairly underwhelming on her old show so I'll be interested to see if she can hold her own opposite Bionic Woman's spunky little sis Lucy Hale (also pictured). And since it's a new CW show, she'll also get to share the screen with Cliff/Zach/Grant from Hidden Palms/The OC/Smallville. Warner Brothers really is just dying to make Michael Cassidy a star (in someone's eyes other than the Former Subletter).

Kick Ass Casting News: Smallville

Need two reasons to watch Smallville next year? Michael Cassidy (Hidden Palms's Cliff, The OC's Zach) is all but confirmed as a new Lois love interest and Laura Vandervoort (Instant Star's Sadie) will be Supergirl. So yes, I'll be swallowing the bile that rises every time I look at Lana and tuning in. The addition of Canadian Vandervoort is especially fun since one of my favorite TV games is Spot the Working Canuck Actor. Vancouver-based shows like Kyle XY, Battlestar, Eureka and Men in Trees are positively chock full of Canadians you never knew you always loved.

In sad casting news (not Fillion on DH sad, but close), Sam Huntington is going to be on ABC's Geico Cavemen sitcom. Maybe it'll be a savvy parody of modern racism. Maybe Huntington will bring the same wide-eyed humor he rocked in Not Another Teen Movie and Veronica Mars. Or maybe he'll be buried under mounds of prosthetic makeup and bad jokes. No matter what, I'll now have to give it a courtesy look. Damn my loyalty.

Jake Kane in the bedroom with a revolver

Hidden Palms is over. Yawn. Cliff was so trustworthy and sweet the whole episode that I was totally prepared (and excited) for him to get away with murder. Then the mention of Skip's long ago affair with Maria (and let's face it, the proximity of Secor as a shady dad) made me wonder if Greta and Eddie were half siblings. It would have given us a reason as to why he was boffing secret BFF Liza (he could no longer stomach the wooden affection of his half-sis!). And it would have given Greta Blah Blah Boringcakes a motive. Sort of.

Greta as the killer is about the only thing that would have redeemed her in my eyes. But, of course, she was an unwitting bystander in the murder(s) and the cover-up(s), just as she is in life. A catalyst and a whiner, but not a girl of action, that one.

The series was wrapped up fairly tidily with a bit too much happily ever after for anything with such a moody title sequence and so much freaking suicide. Bob and Mom are going to be married forever, Cliff and Nikki are going to give a plain ol’ dysfunctional teenage relationship a shot, Liza and Greta hugged and apparently Johnny’s now over his dad’s death. Or something. Oh and Skip will no doubt be brought to justice for the 2-3 murders he carried out.

Even with its literal bang, Hidden Palms sputtered its last breath, skidding to a halt as it ran low on different ways for Johnny to be led astray by people he should seriously not trust. I'll miss Cliff, Nikki and Leslie Jordan. Dog kicking, alcoholism and stone sober drag queen-ery has never been so fun.

I'm confused

When this whole thing began, did it not seem like Cliff was an awesome gay sociopath? Has the thickest sexual tension not been between Cliff and Johnny with their insta friendship and break-up/make-up bickering? Am I seriously to believe his current relationship with Nikki, past relationship with Greta and rekindled (?) relationship with Eddie's hot mom?

Forget who killed Eddie. I wanna know if Cliff ever made a move on him.

PS. Though this is a post about Cliffy, I included the pic of Johnny to lend credence to my argument that these two should hook it up. It's hands down the gayest thing I've seen all week and I drive through West Hollywood every day on my way to work.

At least Dawson's had Paula Cole

Oh my Lord this show is smug. Though watching it means one will be subjected to the mind-numbing banter of Johnny and Greta, Hidden Palms is not without redeeming qualities. Cliff, played by Zach from The OC, seems to be a closeted sociopath, so that's fun. And I'm happy that Tessa Thompson (Jackie from VM) is again employed, though I doubt it will be for long.