Canadian imports straight from The N

So after months of not writing about things like Marco almost becoming a hooker (almost), Bones being my new favorite show ever (thanks, Hulu), Cally shuffling off Battlestar's mortal coil (yay!) and David Cook maybe being my new rocker boyfriend (shut up), I can no longer be silent. Sound dramatic? Yeah, that's what the Chef thought when I breathlessly told her about Degrassi's Darcy landing on the new 90210 (originally written by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas!). She was like "You realize you're not actually friends with Darcy, right?" Like I would be friends with Darcy after she accused Snake of bad touching. Oh who am I kidding? If Paige can forgive new roomie for not disclosing his HIV status before knocking boots, I can forgive ol' Darce.

But Darcy's new zipcode isn't the end of the good news. If you haven't been living under a rock, then you know Lucille Bluth is playing the faded star alcoholic grandma, but you may not realize that Tristan Wilds AKA Michael from The Wire is playing Darcy's brother. Did you ever think Degrassi and The Wire would collide anywhere except my brain? Me neither!

Speaking of unexpected things, remember The Best Years? No? Consider yourself lucky. My memory is not as spotlessly forgiving. So, it looks like Devon (Brandon Jay McLaren) will be skipping anger management in order to appear on CBS's mysterious Harper's Island. I don't know if he's a series regular, but it looks like a show with a body count and I wouldn't mind watching Devon get snuffed.

Also from The Best Years is Ashley Newbrough (ooky Sloane) on How to Survive the Filthy Rich. That's her in the yellow. I found her fairly underwhelming on her old show so I'll be interested to see if she can hold her own opposite Bionic Woman's spunky little sis Lucy Hale (also pictured). And since it's a new CW show, she'll also get to share the screen with Cliff/Zach/Grant from Hidden Palms/The OC/Smallville. Warner Brothers really is just dying to make Michael Cassidy a star (in someone's eyes other than the Former Subletter).

Before (and after) TV made them stars

Even though I bought it years ago on DVD (at Target for $5 so shut up), if DRIVE ME CRAZY is on TV, I'm watching it. As a connoisseur of the genre, I'll tell you that this underrated teen comedy falls somewhere between SHE’S ALL THAT and 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU. How have those involved fared since DRIVE ME CRAZY was released in 1999? Somewhere between FREDDIE and BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Some of them got started on TV. Some of them are now TV stars. Some of them don’t work much. Let’s take a look!

MELISSA JOAN HART was the title characters on the sitcoms CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL (brilliant!) and SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH (not-so-brilliant). After playing DMC’s Type-A Nicole, she squeezed the last drop of entertainment value out of SABRINA and added director to her resume, helming episodes of the teen shows TANIA and SO WEIRD (starring, ahem, Alexz Johnson).

Like Hart, STEPHEN COLLINS was well-known from TV before playing her deadbeat dad. Since the death of his inexplicably long-running series 7TH HEAVEN, he has mostly stuck to appearing in films, but he did make a hilarious guest appearance last season on IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA.

Dreamy boy-next-door Chase (ADRIAN GRENIER) has also made forays into directing and films, but is now famous for playing coincidentally-named movie star Vincent Chase on HBO’s critically acclaimed comedy ENTOURAGE.

Of the supporting cast, HEROES star ALI LARTER is probably the most well known, but LOURDES BENDICTO played slain bank teller Eva on ABC’s short-lived THE NINE and after appearing on JACK & BOBBY, KERI LYNN PRATT had recurring roles last season on BROTHERS & SISTERS and VERONICA MARS (as the slutty sorority girl who seduced Patty Hearst). Also last season, Pratt’s boorish boyfriend JORDAN BRIDGES was a regular on CONVICTION and snooty KERAM MALICKI-SANCHEZ had a recurring role on THE L WORD.

And who wrote DMC? Drumroll, please. VERONICA MARS creator ROB THOMAS. Is it any wonder that the only fault I find in the film is in the execution and not the smart, quippy script?

Guess who's joining Heroes?!

From Variety:

"Peacock has snagged (Kristen) Bell for a key multiepisode arc of its sophomore sensation. Casting is a major coup for NBC since Bell -- who plays the title character in Judd Apatow’s upcoming 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' -- was reportedly being sought for several TV gigs, including a part on ABC’s 'Lost.'

Bell will make her first “Heroes” appearance in October. She’ll play Elle, a character described as a sexy, mysterious young lady who has ties to the supposed death of Peter, H.R.G.’s past and the future of Claire. Elle will kick off her arc by committing a serious crime, though it’s unclear whether she’s good or bad."

In related news: Guess who will now be watching Heroes?

Opening Credits Bonanza: Buffy

A good opening credit sequence is like sorbet. It cleanses the viewer's palate and primes their appetite for the main course. Following the lead of Lost, more shows are forgoing the sorbet and just diving into the prime rib (or greasy burger). In the inaugural post of Opening Credits Bonanza, I’d like to celebrate Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The hard-driving score by Nerf Herder combined with rat-a-tat editing perfectly reflects the tongue-and-cheek thrill ride that is guaranteed to follow.

In the Season 4 episode "Superstar," recurring character Jonathan uses dark magic to insert himself into the lives of the Scoobies. In a stroke of surreal brilliance, the show incorporated this development into the episode's opening.

And in the realm of fanmade vids, the Buffy theme served as inspiration for an alternate opening sequence for fellow teen girl superstud Veronica Mars.

What ever happened to Nerf Herder?

Moments in TV Awesome: Veronica Mars

Dick started out as a day player, merely one of Logan's minions who got to say things like "Let's kick his ass." When he was given a bigger role, that of Logan's main goon, he was just a malevolent source of comic relief. Then Beaver died and we got to see a more complex dick and some nice work from Ryan Hansen. I now present an evolution from dick to Dick.




Now let's hope he just gets the drinking under control in cancellation heaven.

Weevil love you long time...

...Just not on Veronica Mars. He will, however, appear on the next episode of my favorite LA crime drama, The Closer, on Monday, July 30 at 9 on TNT (confession: I usually watch the repeat on Tuesday). So come to find out what's wrong with Brenda (pregnancy is obvious, maybe it's something scarier) and stay for Weeves. You know you miss him.

Logan graduates to CBS

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jason Dohring has been cast as an ancient vampire/mischievous young hedge-fund trader on Warner Bros. TV and Silver Pictures' Vampire/PI show Moonlight.

Who gave Joel Silver my dream journal?

Goodbye, Veronica

I don't need to tell you about the finale. You watched it; you know it was a fabulous, heartbreaking throwback to the first season, a sad reminder of things not to come. I especially enjoyed the subtle allusions to the pilot like Wallace's remote control plane and an asshole being beaten to a pulp in order to illicit an apology Veronica doesn't actually want. It's such perfect poetry that Logan was the asshole in the pilot and the strong arm of violent justice in the finale. And it appears that after using his fists and homicidal temper to ruin his relationship with Veronica, our schmoopy little orphan used them to open the door of possible reconciliation. Perfect. For everyone but Piz and Parker.

As Veronica walks off into the overcast horizon of her SoCal noir world, I'm reminded of what the series marks for me. Veronica Mars began airing just after I moved to Los Angeles. It instantly became appointment viewing and the topic of watercooler discussions at my new office. Impromptu viewing parties turned acquaintances into friends as we debated who killed Lilly Kane over bottles of wine and bruschetta. The show was something I shared with friends from college and back home, urging people to give it a shot and taping episodes to catch my family up over long holidays. I love TV and smart, sassy, strong Veronica Mars is a perfect example of why. She'll be sorely missed, but I can't wait to see what the people involved in her creation come up with next.

Veronica Mars 2004-2007

Dude. This sucks.

http://community.tvguide.com/blog/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Ausiello-Report/700000049

http://www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/index.jsp?uuid=54a4a6b8-3402-44eb-936e-ed7bb82e69f1

Thanks to Q for the links.

Veronica Mars: Debasement Tapes

Paud Rudd! And a bunch of other people you love! Seriously, the gang's all here. Vinnie and Bronson and that radio chick and that bell hop and scary Danny Boyd. There's Vinnie being all sketchy (my theory on Vincent Van Lowe: still working for the Fitzpatricks and the whole save the day schtick was a ploy to get a dirty sheriff back in office). Max is being all cute and Sacks is just being Sacks.

One of the things I love about this show is the established universe in which it exists. That's part of why I found last week's "Oh, we eat at Babylon Gardens ALL the time and I totally know your daughter" bit annoying. Cause guess what, Veronica? I know a lot of people in Neptune and bitchy Amira is not one of them. She's nothing buy a fly-by-night plot device and there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.

But enough of all that ugliness. On to last night's episode, which will air in LA at 9 PM on Saturday. It's also available online at cwtv.com. Shoddy detective work aside (seriously, she didn't ask to see the bag before starting the investigation?), the writers were on their A game. It was snappy and funny with lovely bits of pathos (Desmond) and angst (Logan, who else?). And while I'm not sure if Veronica really likes Piz or just thinks she should, I love him. So much that I'll continue to watch that Grey's spin-off even if it's assy and they keep making self-referential elevator jokes. I can't help it, folks. I'm about two episodes away from getting "Stosh" tattooed on my ass.

With the end of the season in sight (two more weeks and three more episodes), I gotta tell you: I'm holding out hope for the FBI redux version. Previous skepticism be damned. Alias wasn't all that bad the first couple of times it got revamped and it's not like a fictional Leonardo Da Vinci factors into this whole FBI thing. Though if it does, I'll still watch. Word is that the network presentation of Veronica: FBI Agent went very well. That combined with a slot left open by the departing Gilmore Girls and I have my fingers firmly crossed. Random question time: is it me, or is that totally Veronica creator Rob Thomas as Desmond's late bandmate? I realize the pic's small, but peruse your Tivo and I think I'll be proven right. Or legally insane. One or the other.

We've got a lot to discuss...

I've had a busy couple of weeks, but never fear, I've still got my priorities straight and I've made time for TV via Tivo and the internet. Let's start with VERONICA MARS. Veronica, Studio 60 called and they want that preachy sermon back. I did, however, enjoy the 15 minutes that were devoted to Logan and Parker's functional relationship and Piz mustering the balls to make a move. Finally!

Speaking of Piz, apparently he works out, as witnessed by his buff turn on GREY'S ANATOMY. The spin-off has possibilities although if any man ever said, "I'm going to kiss you. With tongue. So you feel it," to me in an empty stair well, he'd be getting a knee to the balls for being equal parts creepy and cheesy. You know what kiss was neither creepy nor cheesy? George and Izzy! Am I the only one who's totally on this bandwagon? Cause I LOVE it. Almost as much as I hate McDreamy for his sudden ambivalence about Mere. I'd forgive it if it really had to do with her lack of will to live and not the fact that he wants to further his career. Ass.

I don't talk about it much, but UGLY BETTY is a seriously solid show. Who said Rebecca Romijn as a lonely transgendered ice queen wouldn't play in Middle America? Also on ABC, OCTOBER ROAD. The show is full of holes and silly twists. It pisses me off and yet I watched every damn episode. I actually care about the stupid characters, especially Eddie and Janet. I even like Laura Prepon and she used to bug the hell out of me with her perpetual post punchline smirk on That '70s Show.

Speaking of things that bug the hell out of me... INSTANT STAR'S still flirting with mediocrity. Let's be honest, I think mediocrity has gotten to third base at this point. Here's my thing about the Jude/Jamie/Tommy triangle we're inexplicably revisiting: Jude will never be in love with Jamie. Yes, he's the better guy, but he's not her guy. She invited him on her first tour AFTER Tommy turned her down. She hooked up with him because Tommy was with Sadie. She wrote White Lines about Tommy while she was dating Jamie. It's not really a love triangle, it's a set up for disaster.

Shows I've recently tried on for size: HEROES - last night's episode was a little assy and I'm a bit creeped out by the dynamic between Peter and niece Claire, but I've caught the last few eps and I'm intrigued and looking forward to watching it from the beginning. I'm also eager to get further into WILDFIRE on ABC Family. Yes, I love shows aimed at tweens, but this one's really good. I'd caught episodes before, but now several eps at a time are available on abcfamily.com. Ever wonder what happened to Degrassi's school shooter? He's on an ABC Family show called Falcon Beach. It's pretty unwatchable, but Degrassi will be back (sans Rick, of course) this summer.

Oh and last night's HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER was super cute. That's all I've got for now.

What do these two men have in common?

Other than WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER and holding the key to my heart?

Paul Rudd will soon guest star on Veronica Mars! It's back on Tuesday, May 1. Set your tivo!

Belated Aquaman Viewing

Um, Friday Night Lights' Adrianne Palicki as a murderous siren?

Veronica Mars' coked-out Dr. Griffith as a shifty fed?

That chick from Hang Time as little AC's totally dead mama?

Fox from Passions and Lem from the freaking Shield?!

Why didn't I watch this thing sooner?

Logan broke her heart, but Beaver killed her cat, assaulted her best friend and grew up to be a kiddie rapist

Now available on NBC.com is an episode of Medium entitled “The Boy Next Door.” It guest stars Jessy Schram (AKA Veronica Mars’ Hannah Griffith) as the high school incarnation of Patricia Arquette’s Allison. She’s haunted by dreams of a future case in which she is reunited with a friend from high school and eventually learns that he has raped and murdered a girl her daughter’s age.

The weird thing is, as her friend points out, HS Allison doesn’t have a pal named Steven. Enter Kyle Gallner (AKA Veronica Mars’ Cassidy “Beaver” Casablancas) as her new neighbor, Steven. Dun dun dun! He does a nice job vacillating between awkward charm and shiver-inducing creepiness as a guy just getting started on a long and winding road to being a sexual predator. And when Allison dreams inform her to pull away from Steven, he tries such classic wooing techniques as murdering her beloved cat and nearly raping her aforementioned BFF.

I’ve never watched Medium, but I can understand why my mom digs it. The ending was satisfying and fairly chilling as we saw young Allison embrace her psychic abilities and change the future for the better. I did think Future Steven was a bit of a knob for willingly giving up his DNA. Was he so desperate to save face in front of his old crush that he’d do something that stupid? Maybe.

Also, must Kyle Gallner always play the psycho? I know that after that Columbine-inspired Cold Case, the Jon-Benet-inspired episode of Bones and the Season 2 finale of Veronica that his reel must have some choice scary kid moments, but doesn’t anyone remember how cute he and Mac were? You know, before we found out he’d raped Veronica. And set up his dad for financial ruin. And murdered all those people…

I case you haven't heard...

...The Hollywood Reporter, Kristin at E!, and various other outlets are reporting that our sweet, snarky teen detective is all but lost forever. Sure, the official word from the CW is that no decision will be made as to the show's fate until upfronts in May, but it's most likely that IF the show returns, it will be in yet another new format.

We'll jump past Veronica's college years and she'll be working at the FBI. I somehow doubt that Wallace, Mac and Weevil can all land jobs there, or that she'll still be living with her dad. And with Chris Lowell cast in the likely Grey's Anatomy spin-off, I guess Piz is headed back to Beaverton any way.

So maybe she'll still be on/off with Logan. It seems that relationship is thing fans are most rabid about, so I don't see them getting rid of him. But I also don't see how it can remain fresh.

Rob Thomas has made the show sparkle through format shake-ups in the past, so I guess I should put more faith in Veronica's creator to somehow come through this with something that resembles the show I fell in love with. I hope it comes back better than ever and that I have to eat my words, but until then, mark me down as skeptical.

In an interesting side note, a couple of months ago there was a rumor that One Tree Hill would return next season, five years in the future. At the time I thought it was a rockin' idea, mostly because there isn't a shark big enough for that show to jump.

I was right, bitches!

And I was so pumped about being right about Tim Foyle (or as I still think of him, Lucky) that I didn't really think too hard on the holes. Like why Tim would ask Veronica for help (maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he was better than her?) or why Mindy didn't think, "Mmm. Maybe my lover really did kill my husband. I'll still ask Keith to help me find out what happened. But I'll lie to him to stay out of trouble. That's the ticket!" I did love that Landry told Keith his plan to frame Grieco would have worked if Keith wasn't the acting sheriff. It was thisclose to being the admission of a Scooby Doo villian.

Complaining aside, I was entertained by the episode. I kept changing my mind about whodunit until the very end. And I loved that V could totally get in Tim's face and all he could do was sputter. Cause she's better than him. And he couldn't kill her in front of the whole class.

You know what I didn't even mind...
Wallace spied Parker and Logan having a meal and broke the news to Veronica. She took it in stride and when Logan asked if she was cool with him asking her friend out, Veronica gave him the okay. I don't think there's any way in hell she's totally okay with it, but it's nice that he asked. And it was nice that Parker made it clear that she was interested in pursuing anything that would hurt Veronica. And what's college for if not dating friends' recycled exes? Plus, this totally opens things up for Piz! Seriously. I'm starting to forget what homeboy looks like.

Next week: The Pussycat Dolls hijak Veronica's timeslot until May, when she returns with four stand alone episode and with Keith in official law enforcement, Veronica puts the Mars in Mars Investigations.

He's alive!

Is it weird that this photo makes me happy? Like in a parallel universe Cyrus and Veronica are enjoying a lovely mentor/pupil relationship? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's weird.

Silence of the Lamb

Lamb is dead, y’all. It came out of nowhere. Or rather, Grieco came out of nowhere. With a bat. And a system full of amphetamines. Which is never a good combo. So Lamb got smashed in the head and the episode ended with Keith sadly telling Veronica that their comic foil was dead and then taking over his old job. There’s a new sheriff in Neptune. And he looks somewhat less hot in the uniform than our Dorothy-loving Don. Sigh.

On to the mini-mysteries: Did Josh kill his dad? Did Veronica help him escape? Where is Stosh Piznarski? In short: no, yes(ish), the hell if I know. Turns out Josh is allergic to peanuts and the cookies he asked V to bring him caused a reaction that led to a paramedic reviving him with an epi pen and Josh overpowering said paramedic in a daring, off-camera escape. Then he totally kidnapped Mason to try to force him to admit that he killed the coach. Lots of crazy, Fugitive-like behavior follows and finally it turns out that the coach killed himself (with an Army-buddy’s help) and tried to make it look like a car-jacking to secure a big insurance settlement for his family. He had recently been diagnosed with a horrible brain disease and was about to die in a painful, expensive manner. So Veronica helps another cute boy nobly escape to Mexico. Everyone thinks he killed his dad, but his mom and autistic brother are financially secure. Does the fact that it’s obviously not a carjacking mean that they still get the huge settlement? I’m really not clear on all that and I don’t care to think too deeply about it since…

Mac totally got her groove back! Yay! So did Logan! Boo? I can’t decide whether or not to hiss at the development between Parker and Logan. When was the last time we saw Logan have as much fun as he had with Mac, Parker and Bronson on the Valentines Day Scavenger Hunt? I’m drawing a blank. And if he and Veronica are too screwed up to make it work right now, then at least Parker’s someone I like. Plus, it will make for some good drama. Back to Mac: she and Bronson totally did it! And he didn’t proceed to blow up anything, rape anyone or kill himself! Woo hoo! Not that she and Beav ever sealed the deal, but you know what I mean. And they had a lovely, sweet scene that makes me renew my vow to kill anyone that causes that poor girl any more emotional damage. Consider yourselves warned, writers.

In the land of crimes Tim Foyle totally committed: That’s still my guess. Right now it seems like Landry and Mindy are too obvious and I guess Greco’s a suspect, but he seems to really think that Mindy’s setting him up. I’m not sure why Tim would kill Dean O’Dell (maybe he wanted a super duper nice rec letter like Veronica’s, but failed to measure up), but the other three would be kind of disappointing. Especially since Weevil found Landry’s bloody shirt on campus. And who would bug Landry’s phone (other than Veronica and Keith)? It’s gotta be Tim. Of course, I’m the same girl who thought Liane Mars killed Lilly. But whatev.

Did he mope this much when his dad bashed Lilly's head in?

Remember when grief used to make him meaner? Part of me misses that now that Logan’s holed himself up in his suite at the Neptune Grand, refusing to return room service trays or let housekeeping air out his decadent squalor. To lift his friend’s spirits, Dick sets Logan up with his date’s sister. Except she’s 11 and Logan lands babysitting duty while Dick and his date run off to a swim team party and then to Vegas.

Kid Sister stands in for the viewing audience, trying to convince Logan to break out of his stupor and reach out to his lost love. Eventually she calls a radio station and makes a long distance dedication from Logan to Veronica. The look on V’s face as she hears the dedication, followed by Nick Lachey’s “What’s Left of Me,” is priceless. As is her look when she runs into the pair in the elevator and notices that Logan’s young companion is wearing her shirt.

Remember that guy on the left? Yeah, I thought we were gonna get to see quite a bit more of him since the A story revolved around Hearst basketball. But aside from a few scenes at the beginning, Wallace was pretty absent from the episode. The mystery centers on the coach’s son, Josh (that's him on the right), who is accused of murdering his dad after the game. Mars Investigations is hired to prove his innocence when Lamb targets him as the prime suspect.

Interestingly the A story doesn’t wrap up at the end of the episode. Instead, Veronica is arrested in the middle of Landry’s class for aiding in Josh’s escape from prison. Dun dun dun! Speaking of Landry, he’s not shaping up to be the best alibi for Mindy. Seems someone took her car out of the valet around one in the morning and returned shortly after Tim’s witness heard the gunshot. Fishy. Also, O'Dell wrote Veronica a really lovely rec letter for that FBI internship and she's through to the next round. This only strengthens her resolve to find his killer, who I think is Tim Foyle. My guess is that he was having a secret affair with Mindy. What? I'm allowed to be completely off base if I want.

In other news, Dick got married in Vegas and is need of a good lawyer. Lucky for him (and all of us), Logan knows a lawyer. That’s right, kids: Cliff’s back and he’s just as skeezy and wonderful as ever!

Moments in TV Awesome: Veronica Mars

Just a quick reminder about why we put up with this exhausting relationship.