The O(kay when I said it was dead to me, I was full of crap and we all knew it) C

All it took was one night of reruns and pre-holiday boredom to send me back into the arms of The OC. I'd heard from friends that it had vastly improved after the unfortunate season premiere and that Ryan and Taylor Townsend were actually cute together. So I decided to see for myself.

Turns out, my sources were right. Perkily Type-A Taylor is perfect for mopey Ryan. Their banter was infused with the same spark that made him and Seth such a great opposites attract match as brothers. And never fear: we've still got a screwed-up tragic beauty in Marissa's little sister Kaitlin. But instead of the writers trying to give her salvation through an equally troubled love interest, they recognize that what Kaitlin really needs is a good parent. Her scenes with Julie's new boyfriend Bullet were my favorites, mostly because they're obviously fond of one another without a hint of the sexual tension that tends to creep into adult/teen relationships on this type of show.

In the A-plot, which revolved around Summer's possible pregnancy, I didn't always buy the characters' motivations (Summer stealing the SUV because Seth's insensitive? Meh.), but it was a fun story. Originally the show's greatest strength was that it was a screwball comedy masquerading as a teen soap. This episode made me remember that. Too bad it's opposite 30 Rock, but then again, maybe it's time to upgrade my tivo.

Unaired Pilot: Heat Vision and Jack

Back in the day (you know, like 2002) if you wanted to watch an unaired pilot and you weren't a fancy Hollywood insider, then you had to rely on the perfect combination of a sticky fingered crew member and ebay. But no more! Behold, friends, the power of youtube.

In 1999 Ben Stiller directed the pilot of Heat Vision and Jack, a Six Million Dollar Man/Knight Rider spoof that starred Jack Black, as a former astronaut made super smart by accidental close contact with the surface of the sun, and Owen Wilson, as the voice of a talking motorcycle. Yeah, it's pretty damn awesome.
If Ron Silver playing Ron Silver, the actor-NASA trained killer hot on Jack's trail isn't enough to make you tune in, then how about Christine Taylor as a pouty Sheriff who rocks shorts and hot-rollered hair without even a wink of irony?

Seriously. http://youtube.com/watch?v=6lWgXDOAJ5s You won't be sorry.

Stomp the Yard: The Sorkin/Brit-brit Connection

Did you know that Columbus Short (AKA Darius, the non-threatening black emo writer on Studio 60) is currently starring in the kickass new step movie, Stomp the Yard? Yeah, I thought it was weird too, which led to the question, "Is he an actor who can dance or a dancer who can act?" A quick perusal of the internet revealed that he choreographed Britney Spears 2004 tour.

And that's when it hit me. He's this dude:

Before K-Fed, there was the OTHER back-up dancer/expectant father the paparazzi caught Britney kissing. My mind is completely blown. Rather than disappear into whatever oblivion backup dancers who make out with Britney Spears are supposed to inhabit, he's managed to land on an "important" TV show. What does this mean for K-Fed's future? What does this mean for any of us?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1551922/news
http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/2-26-2004-51001.asp
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=e725a9a9-6a62-47af-8003-26756f034c11&entry=index

The funniest thing I saw on TV last week*

*Excluding Michael Scott marking his date with a sharpie so he could tell her apart from her fellow... waitress.

The Office: A Benihana Christmas

After last week's bloated episode of My Name is Earl, I was a little worried that The Office's long episode might also leave me wishing they'd stuck to the normal format. In the teaser Dwight dropped a dead goose on Pam's desk and my fears were eased. The episode, directed by Harold Ramis, was not only solid, but one of my favorites yet. Pam reached out to Karen and they banded together to knock Angela off her fascist party planning game; Andy took Michael and his "Entourage" to Benihana to forget Carol; Kevin sang You Oughtta Know and the whole office joined in. Brilliant.

The Pam/Jim storyline was very similar to when Dawn and Tim dealt with the change in their camaraderie after his promotion. I like that the US version uses threads of the UK version while still making the series their own. I could easily see David Brent canceling Christmas because of a break-up, but I never felt for Lee the way I feel for Roy as he faces his first Christmas without Pam.

Unsolicited Golden Globe Opinions

The Golden Globe nominations have been announced and now it’s time to examine the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s silly little ideas of TV excellence (Sarah Paulson? I’d laugh if I got the joke).

DRAMA
My pick of the nominees: Big Love. It’s compelling and interesting. Its exploration of family life and plural marriage is at once deeply familiar and completely foreign.

Overlooked: I love Veronica Mars, but if I have to pick one, I’d say Friday Night Lights. This show appeals to a much broader demographic than VM and the fact that it’s not appointment viewing for more people is a shame. Degrassi may have bogarted the expression, but FNL really does go there.

ACTRESS (DRAMA)
My pick: Kyra Sedgwick. I love The Closer and though the rest of the cast is uniformly excellent, I can’t take my eyes off Sedgwick.

Overlooked: Kristen Bell for Veronica Mars. Lead actresses on critically acclaimed teen shows have been recognized by the HFPA in the past (Keri Russell for Felicity, Amber Tamblyn for Joan of Arcadia), so why does KB keep getting snubbed? She’s the heart of one of the most compelling and entertaining shows on TV and she deserves some props.

ACTOR (DRAMA)
My pick: Bill Paxton. As a thoroughly modern polygamist patriarch, he manages to make me sympathize with someone I would normally find fairly abhorrent. Beyond the foreign concept of his life style, he is simply a father, husband and son stretched to the very limit.

Overlooked: Kyle Chandler for Friday Night Lights. From the accent to the demeanor, everything about the way Chandler inhabits Coach Taylor is dead on.

MUSICAL OR COMEDY
My pick: The Office. I laugh, I squirm, I tune in week after week and am rarely disappointed.

Overlooked: Old school multi-camera sitcoms aren’t dead. Seriously, just ask How I Met Your Mother. While you’re at it, ask why Desperate Housewives stole their Golden Globe nomination.

ACTRESS (COMEDY OR MUSICAL)
My pick: Mary-Louise Parker is spectacular on Weeds, but despite the show’s comedy label, she gives what I would dub a dramatic performance. That said, I would give the trophy to America Ferrera for her effervescent turn on Ugly Betty.

Overlooked: Anne Heche for Men in Trees.

ACTOR (COMEDY OR MUSICAL)
My pick: Alec Baldwin is beyond brilliant on 30 Rock. His sly turn as a corporate stiff among creative bafoons makes me thank God he's not being wasted on something higher brow like Studio 60.

Overlooked: John Krasinski for The Office. Steve Carell is great, but the most affecting performance has been Krasinski’s and after taking the reins for the Stamford portions of the show, he has graduated from supporting character to capable leading man.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
My pick: Elizabeth Perkins is black comedy gold (would that make her comedy oil?) on Weeds. She’s awesome as a thorny (and horny) cancer survivor whose family and community at large kind of hate her.

Overlooked: Ginnifer Goodwin, Chloe Sevigny and Jeanne Tripplehorn for Big Love. Without the perfect combination of spouses, Bill Paxton’s performance would be nothing.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
My pick: Justin Kirk for Weeds. Completely overlooked by the HFPA for his performance in Angels in America, it’s about time he get some recognition for being so dead-pan awesome.

Overlooked: Neil Patrick Harris for How I Met Your Mother. He’s easily my favorite part of a damn fine show and Harris has proven that his hilarious cameo in Harold and Kumar was no fluke.

You know what's cute?

TBS's new comedy series My Boys. You know what's not cute? The voice-over that insists on making every episode an extended sports metaphor.

Friday Night Lights: It's Different For Girls

Hell hath no fury like a public scorned by one of its sweethearts. The high schoolers, led by someone I’m guessing is a childhood friend of Lyla’s, continue their campaign of humiliation, making sure the once golden cheerleader knows exactly how terrible she is for cheating on Street. It’s reminiscent of the Scarlet Letter and I wish I could say it felt a little harsher than real life, but it doesn’t. After his game-saving performance last week, Riggs is off the hook and Lyla’s taking the brunt of the abuse. It’s disconcerting for me to find Buddy Garrity even close to likeable, but I love this story for bringing out the supportive father in him. The scene in which his old friend shows up at the dealership to inform him of his own daughter’s involvement in creating a vicious website dedicated to Lyla’s downfall was awkward and awful and awesome all at once. Buddy’s a lot of unflattering things, but unloving father isn’t one of them.

Over in Street’s little corner of Dillon, we see the former QB1 adjusting to life back at home. In my favorite scene he and an awkward neighbor kid race, wheelchair against bike. Street gives it his all, but doesn’t care when he’s beaten. He’s all smiles before turning serious to remind the youngster not to play in the street, that their race was a special circumstance. I could eat him with a spoon. His winning character also comes out in a meeting with the lawyer his parents have retained for a possible lawsuit against the school. When the guy tries to lead Street into blaming Coach Taylor for the accident, Jason refuses, steadfastly taking responsibility for the tackle that led to his paralyzation. Seriously, people: a spoon.

Smash is still on the juice. He’s also after the minister’s daughter, who’s been away in “Africa,” which he believes about as much as she believes he spent the church’s money on an “SAT Prep Course.” I like her, but none of this is going to end well. Though I guess we already knew that on account of the steroids and the stealing…

Julie Taylor has fully embraced her role as ruler of Matt Saracen. He follows her around like a puppy and is used as a pawn in Taylor v. Taylor & Taylor, her own personal war of independence. Poor Matt’s just trying to make everyone happy and in the process nearly shoots himself in the foot by telling Coach that he likes Julie and no one can stop him from seeing her. Bad move, kid. At least he doesn’t participate in the locker room banter about Julie’s V Chip (we called it a V Card in my day; I feel old), which Coach overhears. Taylor does a lot of fretting this episode, apparently realizing that the prospect of Julie dating is a lot different that the actuality of Julie dating. He also coins the phrase “Matt Chat,” which is Dad-speak for “Passive aggressively assigning Matt an ass load of work so he stay clear of my daughter’s V Chip.” Not to be outdone, Matt coins a new nickname for Tami: “Mrs. Coach.”

After last week’s episode, in which Riggs was almost totally silent, merely affirming that he would live after the game, our boy’s got a lot to say. Mostly he acts as a narrative device, going to see Jason to tell him that his indiscretion with Lyla did nothing to sway her love for Street and then telling Lyla that she should compete in the cheerleading competition despite being a pariah. She does, and when she looks up in the crowds and smiles in Tim’s direction, the camera reveals her eye line is directed at Jason, who after an emotional and honest talk, is maybe starting to shine some of his golden boy glow on the prospect of forgiveness.

Moments in TV Awesome: Sex and the City

Aidan and Carrie had to break-up. And that sucks because he was so cute and tall and he looked even better after his post-granola makeover. In the episode "Change of a Dress" the other shoe finally dropped. Watching it today on TBS, I realized I'd forgotten how perfectly it was handled. From the scene in the park that went quickly from romantic to heartbreaking to my favorite moment, when Carrie sneaks into the empty apartment and they spend one last night curled on the floor of the home they'll never share, it was like most good endings: suprising, but inevitable.

How the C*nt Stole Christmas

That's what they were getting at, right? I mean there's no way everyone was getting that upset about Ted calling Lily a bitch? Or maybe I'm just desensitized to cursing. Cause it doesn't seem very in character for Ted to bandy about the C word. It's certainly not very empowering. But it was funny.

One thing I love about How I Met Your Mother is that it's broad like the traditional sitcoms so many say are dead, but it also manages to tell engaging stories that are often quite small. Lily hears Ted call her something unflattering on a message left during the summer when Marshall was heartbroken over their break up. She's hurt and he's embarrassed, but refuses to apologize for trying to buoy Marshall's spirits while she was gone. It was a real situation that led to over-the-top fighting and retaliation. The conclusion was sweet, but earned and nowhere near as treacly as the holiday eps I've come to expect from traditional sitcoms.

A lovely compromise

Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska

So I loved this amazing show when Fox originally aired it. Any show that purports to be empowering to women while making them compete for men's affection in order to increase their dowries, is my idea of entertainment. I also loved that the women weren't cookie cutter actress/models trying to win over Andrew Firestone, but moderately attractive women just desperate enough to come to Alaska in the hopes of loggers, snowboarders and other dudes with really questionable job descriptions (side note: Does anyone remember the Cheaters that featured a cuckolded "stockbroker" who was clearly a crystal meth dealer? That guy was awesome).

This weekend was at least the third time I've caught bits of Bachelorettes in Alaska marathons on Fox's all reality network. Luckily I didn't stumble upon it earlier or I'd have spent the whole day on the couch. I turned it on just in time for the horrific final scenes in which the women trek across the frozen tundra in ridiculous wedding dresses (complete with capes and white fur muffs) to wait for a float plane to land. Each woman's Man on Ice will either emerge from the aircraft to invite her to live in Alaska as the wife of a man who can skip a month of work to be on a reality show or...the plane will be empty and they'll go home losers.

The best part of the marathon is that the producers and some of the participants are on hand to tell us what went down afterwards. Like the redhead chick moved to Alaska to be with Kristian, but it didn't work out and she moved back. And the bitchy one who clearly lied about her age was also a bitch in real life, going so far as to dump red wine on one of the other girls when she got too much attention at an off-camera dinner. Awesome! Also, even though Bastard Tim #1 showed up in the plane to ask for another chance with Cecile (after unceremoniously dumping her several episodes before, leaving her with Crazy Tim #2), they're relationship didn't last. Sadly, Brent and Cissie, who seemed to be made for one another in a creepy Ken and Barbie kind of way, didn't last either. Turns out the producers pushed him hard to make the proposal (which you could kind of guess by the chagrined look on his face when it came time to make it) and after Cissie moved to Alaska, it ended. She spent all her time taking care of his kids while he was out with his ex-wife. Ain't that some shit? Fox Reality has made me feel bad for Cissie, four years after Brent broke her heart...

30 Rock: Tracy Does Conan

A Nickleback loving beeper king love interest, a near-stabbing on a late night talk show, a seemingly magical hair piece and Alec Mother Scratching Baldwin? There's nothing about this show I don't love. Except when Tina doesn't wear her glasses and it throws off my equilibrium.

I have an unlikely crush on...

Moss from The IT Crowd. He's socially retarded, but so, so funny. If he was a serial killer he would be the Gardner. And he would kill people with a hammer. Seriously! Go to Google Videos right now and watch The IT Crowd! Now!

It's a One-derful Tree Hill

This week One Tree Hill forcibly fondled an American holiday classic. They didn't go so far as to rape It's a Wonderful Life, but they did touch it inappropriately without Frank Capra's consent.

The episode picks up where last week's left off (one would assume; I didn't actually make it to the end of last week's episode) with Rick Fox plowing into a pregnant Haley, Nathan pulling Fox out of his totaled car and beating him (possibly, but probably not to death) and Luke having a heart attack. Luke wakes up and finding the streets of Tree Hill empty, chases down a stranger to ask the time. It turns out it's his dead uncle Keith.

Dun dun dun.

Luke feels guilty that Fox ran over Haley (he refused to follow the former Laker's order to throw the state championship, thus inciting his rage) so Keith shows him what Tree Hill would be like if Luke hadn't led such a selfless life. Hold the phone. Luke's selfless? The guy who cheated on Brooke with her best friend, abandoned his mom to move away with Keith and kept his heart condition a secret in order to remain on the basketball team? We're to believe that all of that was for the greater good? Fine, but I refuse REFUSE! to believe Nathan's declaration that he loves Dan.

In addition to giving him a glimpse of the Tree Hill that could have been, Keith also lets Luke eavesdrop on the living. In the process we get to see Dan take responsibility for his younger son's "crime," Brooke and Peyton tearfully make up for the 53rd time and creator Mark Schwan in a cameo as a douchetastic record store worker.

Here's what would have been different if Luke wasn't such a saint:
1. Peyton would never have been recognized as such a prolific artist.
2. She also would have died in the school shooting because Luke wasn't reckless enough to run in after her.
3. Her death would have turned Brooke into a smokin' hot Goth chick with artistic tendencies and a vitriolic hatred of Lucas.
4. Haley would not be a pregnant, comatose teenaged bride, but a celebrity of Chris Keller caliber.

I gotta tell you, I can see why Lucas still waivered on whether or not his life was worthwhile.

To get his nephew back on track, Keith shows Luke what will happen if he dies. Will his mother go crazy from the loss of her son on top of the loss of her unborn child's father? Will Skillz become a street tough? Will Nathan and Haley's baby grow up without someone to show him the proper ratio of mousse to hair? No. Peyton will sad for, like a really long time. Yawn.

THIS makes Lucas decide to live. Because he wants to tell that blonde piece of plywood that he loves her? Seriously? It's not the "I figured out who really killed you and I'm going to avenge your death" that spectral Keith was clearly hoping for, but I guess it saves 12 year old girls a lot of sleepless nights of sobbing and marking Chad Michael Murray posters with smuggy lip gloss kisses.

So Lucas lives and Haley wakes up and the baby's gonna be fine despite being jarred in his snuggly amniotic oven by a former NBA journeyman.

Brokeback Cold Case

On Sunday's Cold Case we learned that sometimes hot dudes in macho professions get into fist fights that turn into hot, hot lovin'’. I know that my favorite Sunday night procedural is heavy handed, but when the dead cop's cop dad all but quoted the best line of Heathers ("I love my dead gay son!"), even I rolled my eyes. For some reason the writer then took a page from the Samuel L. Jackson book of "“Yes, I'’m glad they'’re dead and I hope they burn in hell!"” with the killer'’s paraphrased confession. Just substitute Sam's hatred of the racists who raped his adolescent daughter and left her for dead with lieutenant's hatred of gays.

In interesting casting news: one of the luvahs looked like Matt Czuchry (Logan on Gilmore Girls) and the other looked like the cute guy who's shirtless a lot on South of Nowhere (which I totally don'’t watch...) so it was easy to forgive the episode's stilted storytelling and focus on the pretty, pretty boys.

Studio 60 didn't suck this week

For Christmas Aaron Sorkin gave as a pretty a-okay episode of Studio 60. There was a lot of pitter patter dialogue (though I'm still not sure Jordan's OBGYN would indulge Danny's riff on her baby daddy's jackass status) and Steven Webber's stuff was pretty interesting. I loved his rather sweet reaction to Jordan's pregnancy revelation. And even though it was awkward (or maybe because it was), I also loved Danny's I'm-falling-in-love-with-you-Jordan revelation, which came off a LITTLE like a threat.

The Katrina subplot didn't give me chills, but I was relieved that is also didn't make me queasy. When we first learned of all the starving jazz men in LA, I was really worried about where the story would take us. Fortunately it was not quite to the land of heavy handed preachiness where some other topics (like certain people's brother and Afghanistan) have ventured.

In what the NBC promos department would have us believe is "Soul Mates" news: Harry got a plum part in an ex-boyfriend's movie and Matt was happy for her and then kissed her, thus making her forget herself and say his name on the air. Because even though she's a professional comic and highly successful, she's still a silly woman.

And I'm pleased to report that the sketch we saw about Santa being featured on To Catch a Predator was absolutely the kind of sketch one would actually see on a comedy show. This makes two weeks in a row, people!

Attack of the kickass guest stars!

I was excited about the return of Men in Trees (shut up, it's good), but I was pretty distracted after seeing Justine Bateman's name in the opening credits. I kept looking at the brunette regulars and thinking, "That's not Justine Bateman" and then questioning my own actor-recognition prowess. Then at the last minute she shows up as the bitch who broke Jack's heart. Just in time to screw up Jack and Marin's budding love! I do love a formidable opponent for affection. It's no fun when one side of the love triangle is a Duncan (was that mean?).

Earlier in the evening Kadeem Hardison (or as we all know him Dwayne Wayne) and Dean Winters (my favorite Irish sociopath on Oz) showed up on My Name is Earl and 30 Rock, respectively. Hardison was underused as a guy who turned Earl onto an illegal betting ring, but Winters was awesome as Tina Fey's on-again/off-again boyfriend, who by virtue of being the only retailer left, is the Beeper King of New York. Since he turned her attempt to dump him into an invitation to move in, it looks like we'll be seeing more of Ryan O'Reily, er... The Beeper King.