Online Viewing Update

The CW's offering episodes of many of their shows, including Supernatural (featuring these hunky and Blue Steel-channeling boys) on their website, cwtv.com.

If you love Canadian teen melodrama...

...and you know I do, then you have got to watch Instant Star on The N. Leading up to the Season 3 premiere on Friday, February 16, the-n.com is adding a few earlier episodes each week to their online player The Click.

The show's genius premise is that Jude Harrison is the winner of an American Idol-style competition and is thrust into the spotlight at 15. She's got a jealous older sister, a best friend who wants to be her boyfriend and an ex-boyband member producer with whom she shares a forbidden attraction. Plus (as if you need one), each episode features a totally catchy song and at the end of the season, they release an album.

I didn't get into the show until the second season, so I'm getting to enjoy all the plots that launched the drama I've already seen. In the episode Won't Get Fooled Again, Jude sings a raw ballad about her heart being broken. The song’s not about the producer who spurned her after a hot kiss on her birthday or her cheating rapper ex-boyfriend. It's about the fresh discovery that her beloved dad's cheating on her mom. And suddenly the show's not just about fun songs and escapist fantasies, but a hurt little girl with a whole lotta angst.

Veronica will return on Tuesday

Get ready for SIX new, uninterrupted weeks of VM, starting Tuesday, January 23. The only thing it's on against is the president's address.

Oh, and don't judge Kristen Bell just because they made her wear formal shorts in the promos, it's not her fault.

Squirming and Sighing

As Captain Calamity has pointed out, The Office's unique mix of comedy and pathos is what makes it so compulsively watchable. It's a really tough thing to pull off (see Scrubs for a more hit and miss version of the technique) and last night it was perfect.

Andy's a douche. You know it, I know it, deep down maybe even Andy knows it. That kind of brazenly sycophantic social awkwardness doesn't happen overnight, it has to be the result of a lot of terrible years of...something . But every time I'd start to feel too sorry for him (rejected by Michael, obviously hurt by Jim and Pam's prank), he would do something so disastrously funny that I couldn't help but laugh.

And I loved that Jim and Pam were reunited by the common annoyance of Andy, but every time we glimpsed Karen's troubled eyes, watching her boyfriend pal around his former unrequited love, my heart dropped. And that, my friends, is the mark of great storytelling.

Kick Ass Casting News

The cast of NBC's remake of The IT Crowd has been announced. Joe McHale (the wonderful host of E!'s The Soup) will play Roy, Jessica St. Clair ( who I've never heard of) will play Jen, and (drum roll, please) Richard Ayoade will reprise his role from the British version and play Moss.

Okay, so if you haven't watched The IT Crowd, then you probably don't understand why this is so awesome. Below is a clip of Ayoade as Moss on a video dating site.

Now do you get the excitement? Go to google video or youtube and illegally watch the six excellent episodes of the UK series. You can thank me later.

When Casting is Not Enough

Last night’s Law and Order: SVU was weak. Normally that would be disappointing, but the fact that it was packed with high profile guest stars makes it somewhat baffling. Kal Penn and Adam Beach may not be household names, but they’re certainly well-known. Beach has recently earned great reviews for his performance in Flags of Our Fathers and Penn is the likeable star of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and Van Wilder 2. So why did last night suck?

1. Casting Penn as the fame seeking serial rapist was a mistake. Sure, he wasn't shown in the previews, but the minute you see him standing behind the suspect, you think "Hey! It's Kal Penn!" The role was fairly thankless, so why not just give it to a lesser-known actor the role, who wouldn't be a dead give away? It's not like Penn brough anything to the table beyond a thoroughly inscrutable performance. Was he retarded? Was he just weird? Did this episode even have a director?

2. Manufactured tension between Beach's Brooklyn cop and Ice-T. I still have no idea what their beef was with one another. But because of it, we were subjected to Beach's speech about how he belongs in the city as much as Ice-T because his father was a steel worker. What? Were we supposed to think that T cared about the fact that Beach was Native American or that he was from Brooklyn? I still have no idea and none of this was helped by Beach's stiff channeling of Brando.

3. The story was paper thin and poorly executed. They knew where to find Penn because Beach walks the streets at night and knows all the sounds, including that of a specific recycling plant? Are you kidding?

It's like Chris Meloni had the week off so the writers decided to follow suit. Rather than find a compelling way to work two gifted (though after this and his turn as a Teen Terrorist on 24, I'm beginning to wonder about Penn) actors into what's normally an outstanding show.

Moments in TV Awesome: Veronica Mars

New episodes Tuesday, January 23. Get pumped, people!

Poor Ellie

No matter what an ass she was last week, I can't kick her when she's down. Turns out Manny was less than impressed with her first cocaine experience and when Craig wants to stay in and do rails, rather than leave the hovel he's made out of Ellie and Marco's spare room, she dumps him. On her way out, she informs Ellie that Craig's an addict and a liar. In a device cribbed from One Tree Hill, the plot moves by at break neck speed. Before you can blink, Ellie's gotten Craig to admit his problem and agree to go with her to group (remember when he was just a simple bipolar and she was an angsty cutter?). Despite the fact that he's started looking like Jason Patric in Rush, guest stars Taking Back Sunday invite Craigers to play during the show that Ellie's covering for her university paper.

Ellie puts Craig ahead of her journalism assignment and her relationship with Jesse. He repays her by not showing to group and breaking her heart before his show. She goes to confront him about his problem and threatens to tell his stepdad Joey about everything. If there's one thing Craig's always been good at, it's knowing how to manipulate girls. He kisses Ellie and then tells her that he loves her. Her joy quickly turns to pain as he murmurs that she won't make him quit if she loves him. Ass. Having irreparably damaged his closest friendship, Craig goes onstage to play his crappy drowning allegory song and bleed from the face. He looks horrified by the nosebleed and if this is supposed to be rock bottom, I suggest the writers rent Requiem for a Dream.

We next see Craig at the airport. Only instead of going back to Vancouver, he's headed to Joey's and then rehab. Ellie gives him his ticket and he guesses that she's there to make sure he gets on the plane. She says no, she's leaving; Mr. Simpson will make sure he gets on the plane. Craig tries to tell her that he's sorry and that he really does have feelings for her, but it's too late. Ellie's tough facade has melted into tears (nice work by Stacey Farber and Jake Epstein, by the way) and she tells him that he needs help. He tries to weasel a promise that after rehab, they have a shot, but she simply tells him goodbye and walks off with what's left of her dignity.

At this point I'm going to confess my deepest, darkest secret: I like fanvids. What's a fanvid? I'm glad you asked. It's the awesome combination of television clips, basic editing software, and obsessive fans. The following was made by an actual Degrassi-obsessed teenager (Twyst on YouTube). Enjoy.


In other Degrassi news, those Lake Hearst toughs who called TeenMom a whore are back to declare war on JT and the Afro Twins. One of the kids has the same soccer mom haircut as JT and is unsurprisingly TeenMom's ex. Toby gets caught in the melee and ends up with a neck brace. It's pretty lame. The most awesome thing is that Jimmy and Spinner try to tell the Degrassi nerds about the cyclical nature of violence (and they should know since their bullying led to a school shooting and now Jimmy's in a WHEELCHAIR, in case anyone forgot). Next week Emma and Manny are going to throw a party and someone's getting stabbed by one of the Lake Hearst douches. Since Toby’s already been injured, I’m guessing it won’t be him. Fingers crossed for JT or Peter.

Damn you, Grey's Anatomy!

The one thing that could make me interested in the overwrought drama at Seattle Grace: Addison and Karev making out. I don't know why. Originally I hated both of them, but they slowly wore away at me and I was won over by these wonderfully flawed (and abnormally attractive) doctors. And now I give a crap about this show again, which is kind of annoying.

Sure, I still couldn't care less about Burke and his shaky hand (after operating on people with a tremor, he doesn't deserve to practice again) and Meredith and Derek kind of put me to sleep, but in addition to near mugging down between my favorite icy OB and her smoldering intern, I found myself kind of liking Callie. When she was first introduced, I was disappointed that this gorgeous and normal sized woman seemed to be CRAZY and have really inappropriate hospital hair. But last night she was goofy, charming and had hair that actually moved.

I Love New York's Mom

VH1 is stretching the definition of CelebReality with The Bachelorette to Flavor of Love's The Bachelor. After being TWICE burned by Flavor Flav, Tiffany AKA New York is back on TV, looking for her prince charming. And the folks at VH1 have rounded up quite a group for her to choose from.

It's a mixed bag of TV-hungry weirdos, marginally employed "musicians," probable gays and maybe (just maybe) one dude with higher than a fourth grade education who watched Flavor of Love and said, "You know what? She's a crazy bitch, but I want her to be MY crazy bitch."

One of the gentlemen even greets our girl with a "You’re putting the hurt on my penis." Another declares that she's so hot, the sight of her almost gives him "wood." Classy. Luckily New York's tough as nails and possibly insane mother (who showed up on Flavor of Love long enough to proclaim that Flav was a loser) is around to put the suitors through her finely tuned BS detector. My favorite moments included her asking various men if they were gay and/or had ever had a sexual experience with a man. Some of them were totally lying when they said no.

Alternative Viewing Update

Men in Trees in now available online at abc.com! So far it's just the pilot and the last episodes, but with shows like What About Brian? offering the full season, let's hope they'll add more soon. As the owner of a persnickety tivo, I've made it my business to know the following:


The-N.com offers new episodes of Degrassi and Instant Star.

NBC.com shows select series. Ratings challenged Friday Night Lights is available, but The Office is not.

CBS.com uses InnerTube to show comedies like How I Met Your Mother and The Class. The player doesn't work on my mac, but seems to be compatible with PCs.

ABC.com offers Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Knights of Prosperity and several other shows.

YouTube and Google Video are hit and miss when looking for entire episodes, but using them I watched the full first season of The IT Crowd and the series finale of Everwood (what? I had to make sure they'd get a happy ending).

This isn't Studio 60, so why am I writing about Krazy Khristians?

For the last few weeks, I’ve been bothered by Christopher Kelly’s Texas Monthly review of Friday Night Lights. In it, he contends that the show is critically overrated, specifically by East and West Coasters who watch without upsetting their preconceived notions about the Lone Star State. As a Texas transplant to California and someone who grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, I dismissed Kelly’s argument as that of a self-hating liberal Texan who doesn’t like the show’s accurate reflection of his football-loving and God-fearing neighbors. And then during last night’s episode, I ate a few of my words.

Don’t get me wrong: I still believe that Friday Night Lights is one of the best shows on television. The set design shows small town life as I remember it rather than as a Pottery Barn commercial, the dialogue is wonderfully layered and realistic and it’s crazy compelling. The Chef, a Texas native, hates it when stupid characters have bad Texas accents. Luckily for Friday Night Lights, even if we’re subjected to Canadian Taylor Kitsch’s hit or miss accent while Riggins inexplicably tries to woo Tyra back, we’re also treated to a lot of intelligent banter by the twangy (but sharp) Taylor clan.

I have a similar pet peeve about religion. Faith does not make a person a zealot, a moron or even a social conservative. In his review, Kelly said the show was mocking in its portrayal of Lyla’s belief in the power of prayer. I disagreed. Perky belief that God would make Street walk again was her coping mechanism. When it faltered, she found another way to cope: Riggins. But last night, even as I laughed at Buddy Garrity’s pompous singing, I felt the immediate sting of his unabashedly stupid prayer. I’m sure people pray for football, but come on, Friday Nights Lights. The scene could have worked in Heathers or Election, but it didn’t fit on an earnest show that generally respects the people it portrays.

What I'm Watching: Battlestar Galactica on DVD

Battlestar consistently appears on Top 10 TV lists. I don’t love sci-fi, but I do love good TV and if I learned anything from Firefly, it's that I can get over the whole space thing. I also learned that Nathan Fillion is super pretty, but that's neither here nor there (honestly, it's everywhere).

So I borrowed the miniseries and first season DVDs from a friend and so far I'm pretty hooked. Also, you know who I totally want to get together? Apollo and Madam Prez. Am I the only one? I'm trying to avoid reading anything about the show on the internet since while just looking for this picture, I accidentally came across three fairly significant spoilers. Damn my curiosity.

Here's where I am so far: Starbuck kinda bugs me, I have a big fat crush on Chief Petty Officer Galen Tyrol and I'm very intrigued by the cylons (even if Number Six has crappy taste in men).

Preparing for the return of VM...

Veronica Mars returns Tuesday, January 23 with a brand new mystery. I'm excited, but it has occurred to me, maybe you don't watch Veronica Mars. It was on UPN so you assumed it sucked and by the time you'd heard it was magic, you were like "Well I'm so confused with this whole Lilly Kane thing and Veronica's drunk mom and is her dad really her dad? Wasn't there something about a rape or a school bus?" Yes, there was.

It's intimidating to jump into an already an established cult hit (side note: I'm doing just that with Battlestar Galactica right now. See. I can RELATE). So here's the good news: You've got a little under two weeks to get caught up on the goings on in Neptune, CA. You can Netflix (or purchase—used on Amazon is a nice option) the first two seasons and follow that up with Season 3 thus far on iTunes. Warning, this option is time-consuming and if you're not planning on tivo-ing the first few episodes of the new arc, you might not be giving yourself enough time to bask in the awesome of VM (or work and maintain your interpersonal relationships, whatev).

Then there's the option of just watching the third season on iTunes. You gotta do what you gotta do and if that means you miss out on seeing Logan and Veronica become "LoVe," then that's okay. The writers did a lovely job of setting up this season so that you don't have to know the ins and outs of the previous two years in order to really enjoy the show. And if you have any questions about the show, do not hesitate to send me a message. I have fully illustrated worksheets to help you understand even the most murky plot point.

Moments in TV Awesome: The Office UK

When Tim finally got the nerve to tell Dawn how he felt, he took her away from the cameras and into an empty conference room, where he yanked off his mic and spilled his guts. Unable to hear their conversation, we could only watch breathlessly as Dawn absorbed whatever Tim said and hugged him in return. Then they exited and Tim calmly informed us that she said no. It was an exquisitely beautiful sucker punch.

So as not to end on a downer, I present you with another Tim and Dawn Moment in Awesome:

The Christmas Special our last chance to see the should-be couple get it together and make love work. After leaving the party with boorish perma-fiance Lee, Dawn opened her Secret Santa gift and found proof that Tim was the one who got away (more accurately, the one she tossed back in favor of day old cod). Encouraging her "pipe dream" with oil paints and a note telling her to never give up, Tim finally got through to Dawn and she quietly broke down in tears. I might have also...but that's not the point. The peak moment of awesome came when she strode into the party to claim her man and we knew, just a moment before Tim, that his life was about to change forever.

Oh. Snap.

Craig's ba-ack! And he's all hopped up on nose candy. To be fair, he probably needs it to sit through a dinner party with pretentious college freshmen discussing Rousseau and Jung. But more on that in a bit.

In the land of people I hope will soon be killed off, Liberty's sad that JT and TeenMom are all cuddly and happy so she decides to make JT as miserable as she is. It's awesome, no pussy-footing or anything, she just straight up tells the girl that JT knocked her up, sold drugs to get money for her and the baby, and almost killed himself. TeenMom's upset that JT never mentioned any of this (especially the drug stuff, though I'd be more mad about the banging Liberty part of the equation), but JT quickly gets back into her good graces with an idea for a "much needed" daycare facility at Degrassi. When the couple brings it up at student council, President Libery shoots it down and bickering ensues. That's when it got boring and I stopped paying attention.

You know what's not boring? Craig on coke! So he and Manny are all reunited and it feels so good, but he wants to go see Ellie and Marco. He plays everyone (including Spinner and Jimmy, who I'm pretty sure had NO lines this episode) a new song and Ellie really enjoys the allusions to Melville. Shut up, Ellie. Craig says that he wrote it on a ferry to Vancouver Island and claims it's a "long story." Shut up, Craig. Poor Manny just wants to go make out with her hot boyfriend, but he'd rather bask in the attention of his fawning friends.

Later Manny and Craig bond as he helps her run lines for an audition for a Canadian soap that may as well be called Smegrassi. After the audition, Craig brags to his friends about how well Manny did. Ellie makes a smug comment about how Smegrassi is a crappy melodrama. Seriously, Ellie. Don't make me smack you in the mouth. Manny and Craig talk about the high of performing and before long it's time for Craig's acoustic show at the most well-lit club in all of Toronto. Manny goes backstage to wish him well before his set and finds Craig bent over a tiny mirror with a little baggie of white powder and a razor. He gives her his bad boy smile and goes out to play. She looks like she might throw up.

Craig performs. Manny looks sad. Ellie proves how smart she is by asking if that song is why he was "asking about drowning allegories last month." Um, ya'll? When did Ellie become such an asshole? Manny doesn't want to interrupt the mutual fawning society and starts to leave, but Craig stops her to say, 1. He doesn't want her to think he "does that," and 2. He could see her shining eyes through the whole show. So high.

The next day Manny tries to talk to him about it and Craig's all "I thought you were cool with it," "It's no big deal," "I just need a confidence boost." She complains that Ellie makes her feel dumb and he asks her to come to a dinner party at Marco and Ellie's that night. That's where we get to listen to everyone talk about Rousseau and blah blah blah. Craig tries to include his girl, but Ellie makes her feel dumb and Manny brings up Ellie's track record of male rejection. Ellie shoots back with an "At least my boobs aren't on the internet" and Manny storms out.

Manny wants the confidence to talk to Craig's smart friends and asks for a boost. Craig's torn, but ultimately gives in and when we rejoin the dinner party, Craig and Manny are going a mile a minute and Ellie looks constipated. The next morning she runs into a hungover Manny leaving for school and takes Craig a cup of coffee. In his lair of rock clichés she finds a baggie of coke:

Craig: Elle, I don't know how this happened.

Ellie: What happened? What's going on?

Craig: I never thought it would get bad so fast.

Ellie: Craig, are you doing coke?

Craig: Manny is.

St. Clare: Oh. Snap.

"Who did this to you? Where is he?"

You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he handles a woman in tears. And, ladies and gentlemen, Dwight K. Schrute passed the test. In the most perfect scene of last night's Office, he encountered a crying Pam. After his first two instincts -- 1. tracking down the SOB who caused her pain and 2. giving her his jacket (half-way through this gesture he tied it around his own waist), Dwight got it right by handing over a hankie he probably keeps clean for just such scenarios. Patting our sad Pam on the back, he even tried to understand where she was coming from, commenting that she "must be PMSing pretty bad." So awkward and yet so sweet.

Are you kidding me?

I might have let it go, if they’d just never mentioned Darnell’s family again. Who am I kidding? I’d have never let it go, but now My Name is Earl has added fuel to the fire. Yeah, I called it a fire. Stop judging just cause I get hopped up about my programs. Gah.

Anyway, tonight we found out that several years ago Darnell was living with his grandmother. You know, that woman who you are either related to by blood or through adoption? The kind of person with whom you would cut all ties if you are actually in the Witness Protection Program?!

Why must I be so tortured by sloppy, inconsistent plot points?

Landry + Riggs 4Evah

In the plethora of awesome that was presented in last night's episode of Friday Night Lights (Street and Lyla flirting about his imaginary wedding to Clay Aiken, Tami telling Riggs that it's bad for the world for him to grow up stupid, Saracen and Julie as the most awkward and sweet little couple EVER), I have selected the alliance of Landry and Riggs as the most highly supreme of the awesome.

Tami uses her bulldozer charm to make Landry, who's probably just glad she's stopped calling him Lance, tutor Riggs, who has apparently been having girls do his homework since he started Pop Warner. After a few allegations of illiteracy ("Oh my God, are you one of those kids who just fell through the cracks?") a determined Landry begins reading Of Mice and Men to Riggs while the jock goes about his daily life (working out, soulfully gazing off into the horizon, etc.). When Tim heeds his frustrated tutor's advice and draws parallels between his life and the book's subject of friendship and loss, he earns a B- all on his own.

Then he shows up at the woefully unattended Crucifictorius concert (yeah, that would be Landry's Christian metal band) and they have a totally cute buddy bonding moment. Which is good since Matt's busy having a completely deserved breakdown at his girlfriend's parents' house. Poor guy.

If you haven't checked out nbc.com to see deleted scenes from various episodes, you should. One from last night's episode is Riggs making Landry a sandwich and giving him shit about groupies. I hope it goes without saying that it's awesome.

http://www.nbc.com/Friday_Night_Lights/outtakes/index.shtml

Bad News, Remaining OC Fan

It would appear that The OC will say goodbye at the end of February. There's still a modicum of hope that the CW, the fledgling network that recently gave a pilot order to Josh Schwartz's Gossip Girls (based on a popular series of YA novels), will welcome The OC when Fox officially lowers the ax. Shows have jumped networks after being dumped before (The Jeff Foxworthy Show, Roswell, Grounded For Life) but will it really be the same?

TV is a collaborative art (yeah, I called it art, what of it?) but shows tend to fare better with their creator around (Buffy comes to mind). JJ Abrams once said that there were times during the days when Alias blew super hard (he didn't phrase it that way, but whatev) when he would turn on the show and not know what the hell was going on. Not a good sign.

The OC began it's slow spiral of suckdom when Schwartz became busy with other projects. And in addition to Gossip Girls (which Little Lady pointed out sounds just like the Kaitlin spin-off that was rumored during The OC's better days), Schwartz got a pilot order from NBC for Chuck, an original dramedy that I've heard described as Seth Cohen does Alias. So maybe it's time to move on. Saying good bye is painful, but close your eyes and think about how good it will feel to say hello to a show that hasn't already been sullied by Marissa Cooper.

Dear Matt Saracen's Dad,

You’re an asshole. That is all.

-SC

PS. You should try to be more like Coach. Assface.

Everwood Season One

The great thing about TV on DVD is instant gratification. Episode after episode is right at your fingertips. Want to know what happens next? Done. Can’t get enough of the characters? Great, you’ve got 20 odd episodes to burn.

The bad thing is that it's easier to spot flaws in the storytelling when you’re racing through the episodes. Spaced out over weeks it's a little easier to forgive errors in timeline and jumps in character motivation.

That said, the first season of Everwood is beautiful, flaws and all. Almost every episode had me on the verge of tears at least once. What’s not to cry about? It’s about a brilliant brain surgeon who, after being widowed, moves his precocious daughter Delia and angry son Ephram to a small town to start over. Once there, Ephram falls for Amy, a girl with a boyfriend who is in a coma. Colin’s journey from comatose to sensitive amnesiac to unpredictable jock is heartbreaking, especially if you already know the next chapter of his story.

Reading over the last paragraph, I realize that it sounds like Everwood is a melodramatic soap opera. It’s not. It’s funny and moving and filled with vibrant characters. Aside from a few missteps (Colin’s magically appearing/disappearing sister, “Everwood Confidential,” etc.) it’s compulsively watchable. If Season 2 were available on DVD, I’d be watching it right now. Or as soon as Friday Night Lights is over.

Great. Now I need to take a shower.

Ever wanted to see a hooker bang Rick Fox in the ass with a strap on? Yeah, me neither. And yet I was curious about Courteney Cox’s new series Dirt, and that was part of the price of admission.

Maybe it’s because this weekend I caught Scream on TV for the first time in ages, but I was really excited about Cox returning to TV as an ice cold bitch. Unfortunately the series was murky and muddled. The stuff with the schizophrenic paparazzo seemed like it was from an entirely different show and there were just as many confusing jumps in character as there were simulated sex scenes, which is to say: a lot.

At first I thought “actor’s actor” Holt was stoned all the time, but by the end I decided that he was probably just not very good. I wish they’d cast Callum Blue. I take that back, I’d like Callum to be doing more worthwhile things with his time. Like vacuuming.

Here are my questions:

1. When did Lucy decide that her one night stand (a douche who reads Proust at movie premieres—that whole sequence killed a piece of my soul) was not just using her? Was it after she tasered him? Was it off screen? Do I even care?
2. Did Holt crash the car on purpose? Cause it kind of looked like he did.
3. Why was Lucy crying when the cat died? Did she feel bad about the cat? Or the people whose lives she ruined? I don’t buy either explanation.
4. Was that really David Fincher? Shouldn’t he be doing something a tad more productive?
5. Why, Courteney, why?

Moments in TV Awesome: Degrassi the Next Generation

This weekend, The N aired a Degrassi marathon in honor of the show's return on Friday (looks like Craigers is coming back off his rockstar road with a bit of a coke habit!). I caught bits and pieces of various completely awesome episodes and among them was this stellar moment:


Marco's college boy beau Dylan has just told him that he wants to have an open relationship (after Marco walked in on him and one of many "interesting" new friends) and Marco has tried to go along with it by attending a college kegger and flirting with other boys. But unable to go through with a random hookup, he finds himself in the stairwell with his BFF Craig (post-bipolar diagnosis, pre-coke fiend phase).

It's such a great scene because it demonstrates what a non-issue Marco's sexual orientation is to Craig. He gives his friend a "You're awesome and if one of us was a chick, I'd be all about you"-style pep talk and when Dylan walks in and Marco kisses Craig in a last-ditch attempt to make his lovah jealous, Craig's reaction is awkward and bemused, but not at all homophonic. Well done, Degrassi.

The O(kay when I said it was dead to me, I was full of crap and we all knew it) C

All it took was one night of reruns and pre-holiday boredom to send me back into the arms of The OC. I'd heard from friends that it had vastly improved after the unfortunate season premiere and that Ryan and Taylor Townsend were actually cute together. So I decided to see for myself.

Turns out, my sources were right. Perkily Type-A Taylor is perfect for mopey Ryan. Their banter was infused with the same spark that made him and Seth such a great opposites attract match as brothers. And never fear: we've still got a screwed-up tragic beauty in Marissa's little sister Kaitlin. But instead of the writers trying to give her salvation through an equally troubled love interest, they recognize that what Kaitlin really needs is a good parent. Her scenes with Julie's new boyfriend Bullet were my favorites, mostly because they're obviously fond of one another without a hint of the sexual tension that tends to creep into adult/teen relationships on this type of show.

In the A-plot, which revolved around Summer's possible pregnancy, I didn't always buy the characters' motivations (Summer stealing the SUV because Seth's insensitive? Meh.), but it was a fun story. Originally the show's greatest strength was that it was a screwball comedy masquerading as a teen soap. This episode made me remember that. Too bad it's opposite 30 Rock, but then again, maybe it's time to upgrade my tivo.

Unaired Pilot: Heat Vision and Jack

Back in the day (you know, like 2002) if you wanted to watch an unaired pilot and you weren't a fancy Hollywood insider, then you had to rely on the perfect combination of a sticky fingered crew member and ebay. But no more! Behold, friends, the power of youtube.

In 1999 Ben Stiller directed the pilot of Heat Vision and Jack, a Six Million Dollar Man/Knight Rider spoof that starred Jack Black, as a former astronaut made super smart by accidental close contact with the surface of the sun, and Owen Wilson, as the voice of a talking motorcycle. Yeah, it's pretty damn awesome.
If Ron Silver playing Ron Silver, the actor-NASA trained killer hot on Jack's trail isn't enough to make you tune in, then how about Christine Taylor as a pouty Sheriff who rocks shorts and hot-rollered hair without even a wink of irony?

Seriously. http://youtube.com/watch?v=6lWgXDOAJ5s You won't be sorry.

Stomp the Yard: The Sorkin/Brit-brit Connection

Did you know that Columbus Short (AKA Darius, the non-threatening black emo writer on Studio 60) is currently starring in the kickass new step movie, Stomp the Yard? Yeah, I thought it was weird too, which led to the question, "Is he an actor who can dance or a dancer who can act?" A quick perusal of the internet revealed that he choreographed Britney Spears 2004 tour.

And that's when it hit me. He's this dude:

Before K-Fed, there was the OTHER back-up dancer/expectant father the paparazzi caught Britney kissing. My mind is completely blown. Rather than disappear into whatever oblivion backup dancers who make out with Britney Spears are supposed to inhabit, he's managed to land on an "important" TV show. What does this mean for K-Fed's future? What does this mean for any of us?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1551922/news
http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/2-26-2004-51001.asp
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=e725a9a9-6a62-47af-8003-26756f034c11&entry=index

The funniest thing I saw on TV last week*

*Excluding Michael Scott marking his date with a sharpie so he could tell her apart from her fellow... waitress.

The Office: A Benihana Christmas

After last week's bloated episode of My Name is Earl, I was a little worried that The Office's long episode might also leave me wishing they'd stuck to the normal format. In the teaser Dwight dropped a dead goose on Pam's desk and my fears were eased. The episode, directed by Harold Ramis, was not only solid, but one of my favorites yet. Pam reached out to Karen and they banded together to knock Angela off her fascist party planning game; Andy took Michael and his "Entourage" to Benihana to forget Carol; Kevin sang You Oughtta Know and the whole office joined in. Brilliant.

The Pam/Jim storyline was very similar to when Dawn and Tim dealt with the change in their camaraderie after his promotion. I like that the US version uses threads of the UK version while still making the series their own. I could easily see David Brent canceling Christmas because of a break-up, but I never felt for Lee the way I feel for Roy as he faces his first Christmas without Pam.

Unsolicited Golden Globe Opinions

The Golden Globe nominations have been announced and now it’s time to examine the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s silly little ideas of TV excellence (Sarah Paulson? I’d laugh if I got the joke).

DRAMA
My pick of the nominees: Big Love. It’s compelling and interesting. Its exploration of family life and plural marriage is at once deeply familiar and completely foreign.

Overlooked: I love Veronica Mars, but if I have to pick one, I’d say Friday Night Lights. This show appeals to a much broader demographic than VM and the fact that it’s not appointment viewing for more people is a shame. Degrassi may have bogarted the expression, but FNL really does go there.

ACTRESS (DRAMA)
My pick: Kyra Sedgwick. I love The Closer and though the rest of the cast is uniformly excellent, I can’t take my eyes off Sedgwick.

Overlooked: Kristen Bell for Veronica Mars. Lead actresses on critically acclaimed teen shows have been recognized by the HFPA in the past (Keri Russell for Felicity, Amber Tamblyn for Joan of Arcadia), so why does KB keep getting snubbed? She’s the heart of one of the most compelling and entertaining shows on TV and she deserves some props.

ACTOR (DRAMA)
My pick: Bill Paxton. As a thoroughly modern polygamist patriarch, he manages to make me sympathize with someone I would normally find fairly abhorrent. Beyond the foreign concept of his life style, he is simply a father, husband and son stretched to the very limit.

Overlooked: Kyle Chandler for Friday Night Lights. From the accent to the demeanor, everything about the way Chandler inhabits Coach Taylor is dead on.

MUSICAL OR COMEDY
My pick: The Office. I laugh, I squirm, I tune in week after week and am rarely disappointed.

Overlooked: Old school multi-camera sitcoms aren’t dead. Seriously, just ask How I Met Your Mother. While you’re at it, ask why Desperate Housewives stole their Golden Globe nomination.

ACTRESS (COMEDY OR MUSICAL)
My pick: Mary-Louise Parker is spectacular on Weeds, but despite the show’s comedy label, she gives what I would dub a dramatic performance. That said, I would give the trophy to America Ferrera for her effervescent turn on Ugly Betty.

Overlooked: Anne Heche for Men in Trees.

ACTOR (COMEDY OR MUSICAL)
My pick: Alec Baldwin is beyond brilliant on 30 Rock. His sly turn as a corporate stiff among creative bafoons makes me thank God he's not being wasted on something higher brow like Studio 60.

Overlooked: John Krasinski for The Office. Steve Carell is great, but the most affecting performance has been Krasinski’s and after taking the reins for the Stamford portions of the show, he has graduated from supporting character to capable leading man.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
My pick: Elizabeth Perkins is black comedy gold (would that make her comedy oil?) on Weeds. She’s awesome as a thorny (and horny) cancer survivor whose family and community at large kind of hate her.

Overlooked: Ginnifer Goodwin, Chloe Sevigny and Jeanne Tripplehorn for Big Love. Without the perfect combination of spouses, Bill Paxton’s performance would be nothing.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
My pick: Justin Kirk for Weeds. Completely overlooked by the HFPA for his performance in Angels in America, it’s about time he get some recognition for being so dead-pan awesome.

Overlooked: Neil Patrick Harris for How I Met Your Mother. He’s easily my favorite part of a damn fine show and Harris has proven that his hilarious cameo in Harold and Kumar was no fluke.

You know what's cute?

TBS's new comedy series My Boys. You know what's not cute? The voice-over that insists on making every episode an extended sports metaphor.

Friday Night Lights: It's Different For Girls

Hell hath no fury like a public scorned by one of its sweethearts. The high schoolers, led by someone I’m guessing is a childhood friend of Lyla’s, continue their campaign of humiliation, making sure the once golden cheerleader knows exactly how terrible she is for cheating on Street. It’s reminiscent of the Scarlet Letter and I wish I could say it felt a little harsher than real life, but it doesn’t. After his game-saving performance last week, Riggs is off the hook and Lyla’s taking the brunt of the abuse. It’s disconcerting for me to find Buddy Garrity even close to likeable, but I love this story for bringing out the supportive father in him. The scene in which his old friend shows up at the dealership to inform him of his own daughter’s involvement in creating a vicious website dedicated to Lyla’s downfall was awkward and awful and awesome all at once. Buddy’s a lot of unflattering things, but unloving father isn’t one of them.

Over in Street’s little corner of Dillon, we see the former QB1 adjusting to life back at home. In my favorite scene he and an awkward neighbor kid race, wheelchair against bike. Street gives it his all, but doesn’t care when he’s beaten. He’s all smiles before turning serious to remind the youngster not to play in the street, that their race was a special circumstance. I could eat him with a spoon. His winning character also comes out in a meeting with the lawyer his parents have retained for a possible lawsuit against the school. When the guy tries to lead Street into blaming Coach Taylor for the accident, Jason refuses, steadfastly taking responsibility for the tackle that led to his paralyzation. Seriously, people: a spoon.

Smash is still on the juice. He’s also after the minister’s daughter, who’s been away in “Africa,” which he believes about as much as she believes he spent the church’s money on an “SAT Prep Course.” I like her, but none of this is going to end well. Though I guess we already knew that on account of the steroids and the stealing…

Julie Taylor has fully embraced her role as ruler of Matt Saracen. He follows her around like a puppy and is used as a pawn in Taylor v. Taylor & Taylor, her own personal war of independence. Poor Matt’s just trying to make everyone happy and in the process nearly shoots himself in the foot by telling Coach that he likes Julie and no one can stop him from seeing her. Bad move, kid. At least he doesn’t participate in the locker room banter about Julie’s V Chip (we called it a V Card in my day; I feel old), which Coach overhears. Taylor does a lot of fretting this episode, apparently realizing that the prospect of Julie dating is a lot different that the actuality of Julie dating. He also coins the phrase “Matt Chat,” which is Dad-speak for “Passive aggressively assigning Matt an ass load of work so he stay clear of my daughter’s V Chip.” Not to be outdone, Matt coins a new nickname for Tami: “Mrs. Coach.”

After last week’s episode, in which Riggs was almost totally silent, merely affirming that he would live after the game, our boy’s got a lot to say. Mostly he acts as a narrative device, going to see Jason to tell him that his indiscretion with Lyla did nothing to sway her love for Street and then telling Lyla that she should compete in the cheerleading competition despite being a pariah. She does, and when she looks up in the crowds and smiles in Tim’s direction, the camera reveals her eye line is directed at Jason, who after an emotional and honest talk, is maybe starting to shine some of his golden boy glow on the prospect of forgiveness.

Moments in TV Awesome: Sex and the City

Aidan and Carrie had to break-up. And that sucks because he was so cute and tall and he looked even better after his post-granola makeover. In the episode "Change of a Dress" the other shoe finally dropped. Watching it today on TBS, I realized I'd forgotten how perfectly it was handled. From the scene in the park that went quickly from romantic to heartbreaking to my favorite moment, when Carrie sneaks into the empty apartment and they spend one last night curled on the floor of the home they'll never share, it was like most good endings: suprising, but inevitable.

How the C*nt Stole Christmas

That's what they were getting at, right? I mean there's no way everyone was getting that upset about Ted calling Lily a bitch? Or maybe I'm just desensitized to cursing. Cause it doesn't seem very in character for Ted to bandy about the C word. It's certainly not very empowering. But it was funny.

One thing I love about How I Met Your Mother is that it's broad like the traditional sitcoms so many say are dead, but it also manages to tell engaging stories that are often quite small. Lily hears Ted call her something unflattering on a message left during the summer when Marshall was heartbroken over their break up. She's hurt and he's embarrassed, but refuses to apologize for trying to buoy Marshall's spirits while she was gone. It was a real situation that led to over-the-top fighting and retaliation. The conclusion was sweet, but earned and nowhere near as treacly as the holiday eps I've come to expect from traditional sitcoms.

A lovely compromise

Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska

So I loved this amazing show when Fox originally aired it. Any show that purports to be empowering to women while making them compete for men's affection in order to increase their dowries, is my idea of entertainment. I also loved that the women weren't cookie cutter actress/models trying to win over Andrew Firestone, but moderately attractive women just desperate enough to come to Alaska in the hopes of loggers, snowboarders and other dudes with really questionable job descriptions (side note: Does anyone remember the Cheaters that featured a cuckolded "stockbroker" who was clearly a crystal meth dealer? That guy was awesome).

This weekend was at least the third time I've caught bits of Bachelorettes in Alaska marathons on Fox's all reality network. Luckily I didn't stumble upon it earlier or I'd have spent the whole day on the couch. I turned it on just in time for the horrific final scenes in which the women trek across the frozen tundra in ridiculous wedding dresses (complete with capes and white fur muffs) to wait for a float plane to land. Each woman's Man on Ice will either emerge from the aircraft to invite her to live in Alaska as the wife of a man who can skip a month of work to be on a reality show or...the plane will be empty and they'll go home losers.

The best part of the marathon is that the producers and some of the participants are on hand to tell us what went down afterwards. Like the redhead chick moved to Alaska to be with Kristian, but it didn't work out and she moved back. And the bitchy one who clearly lied about her age was also a bitch in real life, going so far as to dump red wine on one of the other girls when she got too much attention at an off-camera dinner. Awesome! Also, even though Bastard Tim #1 showed up in the plane to ask for another chance with Cecile (after unceremoniously dumping her several episodes before, leaving her with Crazy Tim #2), they're relationship didn't last. Sadly, Brent and Cissie, who seemed to be made for one another in a creepy Ken and Barbie kind of way, didn't last either. Turns out the producers pushed him hard to make the proposal (which you could kind of guess by the chagrined look on his face when it came time to make it) and after Cissie moved to Alaska, it ended. She spent all her time taking care of his kids while he was out with his ex-wife. Ain't that some shit? Fox Reality has made me feel bad for Cissie, four years after Brent broke her heart...

30 Rock: Tracy Does Conan

A Nickleback loving beeper king love interest, a near-stabbing on a late night talk show, a seemingly magical hair piece and Alec Mother Scratching Baldwin? There's nothing about this show I don't love. Except when Tina doesn't wear her glasses and it throws off my equilibrium.

I have an unlikely crush on...

Moss from The IT Crowd. He's socially retarded, but so, so funny. If he was a serial killer he would be the Gardner. And he would kill people with a hammer. Seriously! Go to Google Videos right now and watch The IT Crowd! Now!

It's a One-derful Tree Hill

This week One Tree Hill forcibly fondled an American holiday classic. They didn't go so far as to rape It's a Wonderful Life, but they did touch it inappropriately without Frank Capra's consent.

The episode picks up where last week's left off (one would assume; I didn't actually make it to the end of last week's episode) with Rick Fox plowing into a pregnant Haley, Nathan pulling Fox out of his totaled car and beating him (possibly, but probably not to death) and Luke having a heart attack. Luke wakes up and finding the streets of Tree Hill empty, chases down a stranger to ask the time. It turns out it's his dead uncle Keith.

Dun dun dun.

Luke feels guilty that Fox ran over Haley (he refused to follow the former Laker's order to throw the state championship, thus inciting his rage) so Keith shows him what Tree Hill would be like if Luke hadn't led such a selfless life. Hold the phone. Luke's selfless? The guy who cheated on Brooke with her best friend, abandoned his mom to move away with Keith and kept his heart condition a secret in order to remain on the basketball team? We're to believe that all of that was for the greater good? Fine, but I refuse REFUSE! to believe Nathan's declaration that he loves Dan.

In addition to giving him a glimpse of the Tree Hill that could have been, Keith also lets Luke eavesdrop on the living. In the process we get to see Dan take responsibility for his younger son's "crime," Brooke and Peyton tearfully make up for the 53rd time and creator Mark Schwan in a cameo as a douchetastic record store worker.

Here's what would have been different if Luke wasn't such a saint:
1. Peyton would never have been recognized as such a prolific artist.
2. She also would have died in the school shooting because Luke wasn't reckless enough to run in after her.
3. Her death would have turned Brooke into a smokin' hot Goth chick with artistic tendencies and a vitriolic hatred of Lucas.
4. Haley would not be a pregnant, comatose teenaged bride, but a celebrity of Chris Keller caliber.

I gotta tell you, I can see why Lucas still waivered on whether or not his life was worthwhile.

To get his nephew back on track, Keith shows Luke what will happen if he dies. Will his mother go crazy from the loss of her son on top of the loss of her unborn child's father? Will Skillz become a street tough? Will Nathan and Haley's baby grow up without someone to show him the proper ratio of mousse to hair? No. Peyton will sad for, like a really long time. Yawn.

THIS makes Lucas decide to live. Because he wants to tell that blonde piece of plywood that he loves her? Seriously? It's not the "I figured out who really killed you and I'm going to avenge your death" that spectral Keith was clearly hoping for, but I guess it saves 12 year old girls a lot of sleepless nights of sobbing and marking Chad Michael Murray posters with smuggy lip gloss kisses.

So Lucas lives and Haley wakes up and the baby's gonna be fine despite being jarred in his snuggly amniotic oven by a former NBA journeyman.

Brokeback Cold Case

On Sunday's Cold Case we learned that sometimes hot dudes in macho professions get into fist fights that turn into hot, hot lovin'’. I know that my favorite Sunday night procedural is heavy handed, but when the dead cop's cop dad all but quoted the best line of Heathers ("I love my dead gay son!"), even I rolled my eyes. For some reason the writer then took a page from the Samuel L. Jackson book of "“Yes, I'’m glad they'’re dead and I hope they burn in hell!"” with the killer'’s paraphrased confession. Just substitute Sam's hatred of the racists who raped his adolescent daughter and left her for dead with lieutenant's hatred of gays.

In interesting casting news: one of the luvahs looked like Matt Czuchry (Logan on Gilmore Girls) and the other looked like the cute guy who's shirtless a lot on South of Nowhere (which I totally don'’t watch...) so it was easy to forgive the episode's stilted storytelling and focus on the pretty, pretty boys.

Studio 60 didn't suck this week

For Christmas Aaron Sorkin gave as a pretty a-okay episode of Studio 60. There was a lot of pitter patter dialogue (though I'm still not sure Jordan's OBGYN would indulge Danny's riff on her baby daddy's jackass status) and Steven Webber's stuff was pretty interesting. I loved his rather sweet reaction to Jordan's pregnancy revelation. And even though it was awkward (or maybe because it was), I also loved Danny's I'm-falling-in-love-with-you-Jordan revelation, which came off a LITTLE like a threat.

The Katrina subplot didn't give me chills, but I was relieved that is also didn't make me queasy. When we first learned of all the starving jazz men in LA, I was really worried about where the story would take us. Fortunately it was not quite to the land of heavy handed preachiness where some other topics (like certain people's brother and Afghanistan) have ventured.

In what the NBC promos department would have us believe is "Soul Mates" news: Harry got a plum part in an ex-boyfriend's movie and Matt was happy for her and then kissed her, thus making her forget herself and say his name on the air. Because even though she's a professional comic and highly successful, she's still a silly woman.

And I'm pleased to report that the sketch we saw about Santa being featured on To Catch a Predator was absolutely the kind of sketch one would actually see on a comedy show. This makes two weeks in a row, people!

Attack of the kickass guest stars!

I was excited about the return of Men in Trees (shut up, it's good), but I was pretty distracted after seeing Justine Bateman's name in the opening credits. I kept looking at the brunette regulars and thinking, "That's not Justine Bateman" and then questioning my own actor-recognition prowess. Then at the last minute she shows up as the bitch who broke Jack's heart. Just in time to screw up Jack and Marin's budding love! I do love a formidable opponent for affection. It's no fun when one side of the love triangle is a Duncan (was that mean?).

Earlier in the evening Kadeem Hardison (or as we all know him Dwayne Wayne) and Dean Winters (my favorite Irish sociopath on Oz) showed up on My Name is Earl and 30 Rock, respectively. Hardison was underused as a guy who turned Earl onto an illegal betting ring, but Winters was awesome as Tina Fey's on-again/off-again boyfriend, who by virtue of being the only retailer left, is the Beeper King of New York. Since he turned her attempt to dump him into an invitation to move in, it looks like we'll be seeing more of Ryan O'Reily, er... The Beeper King.